Chapter 11 - Experiments

"The first of June! The Kings are off to the seashore tomorrow,and I'm free. Three months' vacation - how I shall enjoy it!"exclaimed Meg, coming home one warm day to find Jo laidupon the sofa in an unusual state of exhaustion, while Beth tookoff her dusty boots, and Amy made lemonade for the refreshmentof the whole party.

"Aunt March went today, for which, oh, be joyful!" said Jo."I was mortally afraid she'd ask me to go with her. If shehad, I should have felt as if I ought to do it, but Plumfield isabout as gay as a churchyard, you know, and I'd rather be excused.We had a flurry getting the old lady off, and I had a fright everytime she spoke to me, for I was in such a hurry to be through thatI was uncommonly helpful and sweet, and feared she'd find itimpossible to part from me. I quaked till she was fairly in thecarriage, and had a final fright, for as it drove of, she poppedout her head, saying, 'Josyphine, won't you - ?' I didn't hear anymore, for I basely turned and fled. I did actually run, andwhisked round the corner where I felt safe."

"Poor old Jo! She came in looking as if bears were after her,"said Beth, as she cuddled her sister's feet with a motherly air.

"Aunt March is a regular samphire, is she not?" observed Amy,tasting her mixture critically.

"She means vampire, not seaweed, but it doesn't matter. It'stoo warm to be particular about one's parts of speech," murmuredJo.

"What shall you do all your vacation?" asked Amy, changingthe subject with tact.

"I shall lie abed late, and do nothing," replied Meg, fromthe depths of the rocking chair. "I've been routed up early allwinter and had to spend my days working for other people, so nowI'm going to rest and revel to my heart's content."

"No," said Jo, "that dozy way wouldn't suit me. I've laidin a heap of books, and I'm going to improve my shining hoursreading on my perch in the old apple tree, when I'm not havingl - - "

"Don't say 'larks!'" implored Amy, as a return snub for the'samphire' correction.

"I'll say 'nightingales' then, with Laurie. That's properand appropriate, since he's a warbler."

"Don't let us do any lessons, Beth, for a while, but playall the time and rest, as the girls mean to," proposed Amy.

"Well, I will, if Mother doesn't mind. I want to learn somenew songs, and my children need fitting up for the summer. Theyare dreadfully out of order and really suffering for clothes."

"May we, Mother?" asked Meg, turning to Mrs. March, whosat sewing in what they called 'Marmee's corner'.

"You may try your experiment for a week and see how you likeit. I think by Saturday night you will find that all play and nowork is as bad as all work and no play."

"Oh, dear, no! It will be delicious, I'm sure," said Megcomplacently.

"I now propose a toast, as my 'friend and pardner,Sairy Gamp', says. Fun forever, and no grubbing!" cried Jo, rising,glass in hand, as the lemonade went round.

They all drank it merrily, and began the experiment bylounging for the rest of the day. Next morning, Meg did notappear till ten o'clock. Her solitary breakfast did not tastegood, and the room seemed lonely and untidy, for Jo had notfilled the vases, Beth had not dusted, and Amy's books layscattered about. Nothing was neat and pleasant but 'Marmee'scorner', which looked as usual. And there Meg sat, to 'rest andread', which meant to yawn and imagine what pretty summer dressesshe would get with her salary. Jo spent the morning on the riverwith Laurie and the afternoon reading and crying over _The Wide, Wide World_, up in the apple tree. Beth began by rummaging everythingout of the big closet where her family resided, but gettingtired before half done, she left her establishment topsy-turvyand went to her music, rejoicing that she had no dishes to wash.Amy arranged her bower, put on her best white frock, smoothed hercurls, and sat down to draw under the honeysuckle, hoping someonewould see and inquire who the young artist was. As no one appearedbut an inquisitive daddy-longlegs, who examined her work with interest,she went to walk, got caught in a shower, and came home dripping.

At teatime they compared notes, and all agreed that it hadbeen a delightful, though unusually long day. Meg, who went shoppingin the afternoon and got a 'sweet blue muslin', had discovered,after she had cut the breadths off, that it wouldn't wash, whichmishap made her slightly cross. Jo had burned the skin off hernose boating, and got a raging headache by reading too long. Bethwas worried by the confusion of her closet and the difficulty oflearning three or four songs at once, and Amy deeply regretted thedamage done her frock, for Katy Brown's party was to be the nextday and now like Flora McFlimsey, she had 'nothing to wear'. Butthese were mere trifles, and they assured their mother that theexperiment was working finely. She smiled, said nothing, and withHannah's help did their neglected work, keeping home pleasant andthe domestic machinery running smoothly. It was astonishing whata peculiar and uncomfortable state of things was produced by the'resting and reveling' process. The days kept getting longer andlonger, the weather was unusually variable and so were tempers; anunsettled feeling possessed everyone, and Satan found plenty ofmischief for the idle hands to do. As the height of luxury, Megput out some of her sewing, and then found time hang so heavily, thatshe fell to snipping and spoiling her clothes in her attempts tofurbish them up a la Moffat. Jo read till her eyes gave out andshe was sick of books, got so fidgety that even good-natured Lauriehad a quarrel with her, and so reduced in spirits that she desperatelywished she had gone with Aunt March. Beth got on pretty well,for she was constantly forgetting that it was to be all play andno work, and fell back into her old ways now and then. But somethingin the air affected her, and more than once her tranquility was muchdisturbed, so much so that on one occasion she actually shook poordear Joanna and told her she was 'a fright'. Amy fared worst of all,for her resources were small, and when her sisters left her to amuseherself, she soon found that accomplished and important little selfa great burden. She didn't like dolls, fairy tales were childish,and one couldn't draw all the time. Tea parties didn't amount tomuch, neither did picnics, unless very well conducted. "If one couldhave a fine house, full of nice girls, or go traveling, the summerwould be delightful, but to stay at home with three selfish sistersand a grown-up boy was enough to try the patience of a Boaz,"complained Miss Malaprop, after several days devoted to pleasure,fretting, and ennui.

No one would own that they were tired of the experiment, butby Friday night each acknowledged to herself that she was glad theweek was nearly done. Hoping to impress the lesson more deeply,Mrs. March, who had a good deal of humor, resolved to finish offthe trial in an appropriate manner, so she gave Hannah a holiday andlet the girls enjoy the full effect of the play system.

When they got up on Saturday morning, there was no fire inthe kitchen, no breakfast in the dining room, and no motheranywhere to be seen.

"Mercy on us! What has happened?" cried Jo, staring abouther in dismay.

Meg ran upstairs and soon came back again, looking relievedbut rather bewildered, and a little ashamed.

"Mother isn't sick, only very tired, and she says she isgoing to stay quietly in her room all day and let us do the bestwe can. It's a very queer thing for her to do, she doesn't acta bit like herself. But she says it has been a hard week forher, so we mustn't grumble but take care of ourselves."

"That's easy enough, and I like the idea, I'm aching forsomething to do, that is, some new amusement, you know," addedJo quickly.

In fact it was an immense relief to them all to have a littlework, and they took hold with a will, but soon realized the truthof Hannah's saying, "Housekeeping ain't no joke." There was plentyof food in the larder, and while Beth and Amy set the table, Meg andJo got breakfast, wondering as they did why servants ever talkedabout hard work.

"I shall take some up to Mother, though she said we were notto think of her, for she'd take care of herself," said Meg, whopresided and felt quite matronly behind the teapot.

So a tray was fitted out before anyone began, and taken upwith the cook's compliments. The boiled tea was very bitter, theomelet scorched, and the biscuits speckled with saleratus, butMrs. March received her repast with thanks and laughed heartilyover it after Jo was gone.

"Poor little souls, they will have a hard time, I'm afraid,but they won't suffer, and it will do them good," she said,producing the more palatable viands with which she had providedherself, and disposing of the bad breakfast, so that theirfeelings might not be hurt, a motherly little deception for whichthey were grateful.

Many were the complaints below, and great the chagrin ofthe head cook at her failures. "Never mind, I'll get the dinnerand be servant, you be mistress, keep your hands nice, seecompany, and give orders," said Jo, who knew still less than Megabout culinary affairs.

This obliging offer was gladly accepted, and Margaret retiredto the parlor, which she hastily put in order by whisking thelitter under the sofa and shutting the blinds to save the troubleof dusting. Jo, with perfect faith in her own powers and afriendly desire to make up the quarrel, immediately put a note inthe office, inviting Laurie to dinner.

"You'd better see what you have got before you think of havingcompany," said Meg, when informed of the hospitable but rash act.

"Oh, there's corned beef and plenty of poatoes, and I shallget some asparagus and a lobster, 'for a relish', as Hannah says.We'll have lettuce and make a salad. I don't know how, but thebook tells. I'll have blanc mange and strawberries for dessert,and coffee too, if you want to be elegant."

"Don't try too many messes, Jo, for you can't make anythingbut gingerbread and molasses candy fit to eat. I wash my handsof the dinner party, and since you have asked Laurie on your ownresponsibility, you may just take care of him."

"I don't want you to do anything but be civil to him and helpto the pudding. You'll give me your advice if I get in a muddle,won't you?" asked Jo, rather hurt.

"Yes, but I don't know much, except about bread and a fewtrifles. You had better ask Mother's leave before you orderanything," returned Meg prudently.

"Of course I shall. I'm not a fool." And Jo went off in ahuff at the doubts expressed of her powers.

"Get what you like, and don't disturb me. I'm going out todinner and can't worry about things at home," said Mrs. March, whenJo spoke to her. "I never enjoyed housekeeping, and I'm going totake a vacation today, and read, write, go visiting, and amuse myself."

The unusual spectacle of her busy mother rocking comfortablyand reading early in the morning made Jo feel as if some unnaturalphenomenon had occurred, for an eclipse, an earthquake, or avolcanic eruption would hardly have seemed stranger.

"Everything is out of sorts, somehow," she said to herself,going downstairs. "There's Beth crying, that's a sure sign thatsomething is wrong in this family. If Amy is bothering, I'llshake her."

Feeling very much out of sorts herself, Jo hurried into theparlor to find Beth sobbing over Pip, the canary, who lay dead inthe cage with his little claws pathetically extended, as ifimploring the food for want of which he had died.

"It's all my fault, I forgot him, there isn't a seed or adrop left. Oh, Pip! Oh, Pip! How could I be so cruel to you?"cried Beth, taking the poor thing in her hands and trying torestore him.

Jo peeped into his half-open eye, felt his little heart, andfinding him stiff and cold, shook her head, and offered her dominobox for a coffin.

"Put him in the oven, and maybe he will get warm and revive,"said Amy hopefully.

"He's been starved, and he shan't be baked now he's dead. I'llmake him a shroud, and he shall be buried in the garden, and I'llnever have another bird, never, my Pip! for I am too bad to ownone," murmured Beth, sitting on the floor with her pet folded inher hands.

"The funeral shall be this afternoon, and we will all go. Now,don't cry, Bethy. It's a pity, but nothing goes right this week,and Pip has had the worst of the experiment. Make the shroud, andlay him in my box, and after the dinner party, we'll have a nicelittle funeral," said Jo, beginning to feel as if she had undertakena good deal.

Leaving the others to console Beth, she departed to the kitchen,which was in a most discouraging state of confusion. Putting on abig apron, she fell to work and got the dishes piled up ready forwashing, when she discovered that the fire was out.

"Here's a sweet prospect!" muttered Jo, slamming the stovedoor open, and poking vigorously among the cinders.

Having rekindled the fire, she thought she would go to marketwhile the water heated. The walk revived her spirits, and flatteringherself that she had made good bargains, she trudged home again, afterbuying a very young lobster, some very old asparagus, and two boxesof acid strawberries. By the time she got cleared up, the dinnerarrived and the stove was red-hot. Hannah had left a pan of breadto rise, Meg had worked it up early, set it on the hearth for asecond rising, and forgotten it. Meg was entertaining SallieGardiner in the parlor, when the door flew open and a floury, crocky,flushed, and disheveled figure appeared, demanding tartly . . .

"I say, isn't bread 'riz' enough when it runs over the pans?"

Sallie began to laugh, but Meg nodded and lifted her eyebrowsas high as they would go, which caused the apparition to vanish andput the sour bread into the oven without further delay. Mrs. Marchwent out, after peeping here and there to see how matters went, alsosaying a word of comfort to Beth, who sat making a winding sheet,while the dear departed lay in state in the domino box. A strangesense of helplessness fell upon the girls as the gray bonnetvanished round the corner, and despair seized them when a few minuteslater Miss Crocker appeared, and said she'd come to dinner. Nowthis lady was a thin, yellow spinster, with a sharp nose andinquisitive eyes, who saw everything and gossiped about all she saw.They disliked her, but had been taught to be kind to her, simplybecause she was old and poor and had few friends. So Meg gave herthe easy chair and tried to entertain her, while she asked questions,critsized everything, and told stories of the people whom she knew.

Language cannot describe the anxieties, experiences, and exertionswhich Jo underwent that morning, and the dinner she served up became astanding joke. Fearing to ask any more advice, she did her best alone,and discovered that something more than energy and good will isnecessary to make a cook. She boiled the asparagus for an hour and wasgrieved to find the heads cooked off and the stalks harder than ever.The bread burned black; for the salad dressing so aggravated her thatshe could not make it fit to eat. The lobster was a scarlet mystery toher, but she hammered and poked till it was unshelled and its meagerproportions concealed in a grove of lettuce leaves. The potatoes hadto be hurried, not to keep the asparagus waiting, and were not doneat the last. The blanc mange was lumpy, and the strawberries not asripe as they looked, having been skilfully 'deaconed'.

"Well, they can eat beef and bread and butter, if they arehungry, only it's mortifying to have to spend your whole morning fornothing," thought Jo, as she rang the bell half an hour later thanusual, and stood, hot, tired, and dispirited, surveying the feastspread before Laurie, accustomed to all sorts of elegance, and MissCrocker, whose tattling tongue would report them far and wide.

Poor Jo would gladly have gone under the table, as one thingafter another was tasted and left, while Amy giggled, Meg lookeddistressed, Miss Crocker pursed her lips, and Laurie talked andlaughed with all his might to give a cheerful tone to the festivescene. Jo's one strong point was the fruit, for she had sugared itwell, and had a pitcher of rich cream to eat with it. Her hot cheekscooled a trifle, and she drew a long breath as the pretty glassplates went round, and everyone looked graciously at the little rosyislands floating in a sea of cream. Miss Crocker tasted first, madea wry face, and drank some water hastily. Jo, who refused, thinkingthere might not be enough, for they dwindled sadly after the pickingover, glanced at Laurie, but he was eating away manfully, though therewas a slight pucker about his mouth and he kept his eye fixed on hisplate. Amy, who was fond of delicate fare, took a heaping spoonful,choked, hid her face in her napkin, and left the table precipitately.

"Oh, what is it?" exclaimed Jo, trembling.

"Salt instead of sugar, and the cream is sour," replied Megwith a tragic gesture.

Jo uttered a groan and fell back in her chair, remembering thatshe had given a last hasty powdering to the berries out of one ofthe two boxes on the kitchen table, and had neglected to put themilk in the refrigerator. She turned scarlet and was on the vergeof crying, when she met Laurie's eyes, which would look merry inspite of his heroic efforts. The comical side of the affair suddenlystruck her, and she laughed till the tears ran down her cheeks. Sodid everyone else, even 'Croaker' as the girls called the old lady,and the unfortunate dinner ended gaily, with bread and butter, olivesand fun.

"I haven't strength of mind enough to clear up now, so we willsober ourselves with a funeral," said Jo, as they rose, and MissCrocker made ready to go, being eager to tell the new story atanother friend's dinner table.

They did sober themselves for Beth's sake. Laurie dug a graveunder the ferns in the grove, little Pip was laid in, with many tearsby his tender-hearted mistress, and covered with moss, while a wreathof violets and chickweed was hung on the stone which bore his epitaph,composed by Jo while she struggled with the dinner.

At the conclusion of the ceremonies, Beth retired to her room,overcome with emotion and lobster, but there was no place of repose,for the beds were not made, and she found her grief much assuagedby beating up the pillows and putting things in order. Meg helpedJo clear away the remains of the feast, which took half the afternoonand left them so tired that they agreed to be contented with tea andtoast for supper.

Laurie took Amy to drive, which was a deed of charity, for thesour cream seemed to have had a bad effect upon her temper. Mrs.March came home to find the three older girls hard at work in themiddle of the afternoon, and a glance at the closet gave her an ideaof the success of one part of the experiment.

Before the housewives could rest, several people called, andthere was a scramble to get ready to see them. Then tea must be got,errands done, and one or two necessary bits of sewing neglected untilthe last minute. As twilight fell, dewy and still, one by one theygathered on the porch where the June roses were budding beautifully,and each groaned or sighed as she sat down, as if tired or troubled.

"What a dreadful day this has been!" began Jo, usually the firstto speak.

"It has seemed shorter than usual, but so uncomfortable," said Meg.

"Not a bit like home," added Amy.

"It can't seem so without Marmee and little Pip," sighed Beth,glancing with full eyes at the empty cage above her head.

"Here's Mother, dear, and you shall have another bird tomorrow,if you want it."

As she spoke, Mrs. March came and took her place among them,looking as if her holiday had not been much pleasanter than theirs.

"Are you satisfied with your experiment, girls, or do you wantanother week of it?" she asked, as Beth nestled up to her and therest turned toward her with brightening faces, as flowers turntoward the sun.

"I don't!" cried Jo decidedly.

"Nor I," echoed the others.

"You think then, that it is better to have a few duties andlive a little for others, do you?"

"Lounging and larking doesn't pay," observed Jo, shaking her head."I'm tired of it and mean to go to work at something right off."

"Suppose you learn plain cooking. That's a useful accomplishment,which no woman should be without," said Mrs. March, laughinginaudibly at the recollection of Jo's dinner party, for she hadmet Miss Crocker and heard her account of it.

"Mother, did you go away and let everything be, just to see howwe'd get on?" cried Meg, who had had suspicions all day.

"Yes, I wanted you to see how the comfort of all depends oneach doing her share faithfully. While Hannah and I did your work,you got on pretty well, though I don't think you were very happyor amiable. So I thought, as a little lesson, I would show youwhat happens when everyone thinks only of herself. Don't you feelthat it is pleasanter to help one another, to have daily dutieswhich make leisure sweet when it comes, and to bear and forbear,that home may be comfortable and lovely to us all?"

"We do, Mother, we do!" cried the girls.

"Then let me advise you to take up your little burdens again,for though they seem heavy sometimes, they are good for us, andlighten as we learn to carry them. Work is wholesome, and thereis plenty for everyone. It keeps us from ennui and mischief, isgood for health and spirits, and gives us a sense of power andindependence better than money or fashion."

"We'll work like bees, and love it too, see if we don't,"said Jo. "I'll learn plain cooking for my holiday task, andthe next dinner party I have shall be a success."

"I'll make the set of shirts for father, instead of lettingyou do it, Marmee. I can and I will, though I'm not fond of sewing.That will be better than fussing over my own things, which are plentynice enough as they are." said Meg.

"I'll do my lessons every day, and not spend so much time withmy music and dolls. I am a stupid thing, and ought to be studying,not playing," was Beth's resolution, while Amy followed their exampleby heroically declaring, "I shall learn to make buttonholes, andattend to my parts of speech."

"Very good! Then I am quite satisfied with the experiment, andfancy that we shall not have to repeat it, only don't go to the otherextreme and delve like slaves. Have regular hours for work and play,make each day both useful and pleasant, and prove that you understandthe worth of time by employing it well. Then youth will be delightful,old age will bring few regrets, and life become a beautiful success,in spite of poverty."

"We'll remember, Mother!" and they did.