Chapter 8

While Shaggy and his companions stood huddled in agroup at one side, the Army of Oogaboo wasapproaching along the pathway, the tramp of theirfeet being now and then accompanied by a dismalgroan as one of the officers stepped on a sharpstone or knocked his funnybone against hisneighbor's sword-handle.

Then out from among the trees marched PrivateFiles, bearing the banner of Oogaboo, whichfluttered from a long pole. This pole he stuck inthe ground just in front of the well and then hecried in a loud voice.

"I hereby conquer this territory in the name ofQueen Ann Soforth of Oogaboo, and all theinhabitants of the land I proclaim her slaves!"

Some of the officers now stuck their heads outof the bushes and asked:

"Is the coast clear, Private Files?"

"There is no coast here," was the reply, "butall's well."

"I hope there's water in it," said General Cone,mustering courage to advance to the well; but justthen he caught a glimpse of Tik-Tok and Shaggy andat once fell upon his knees, trembling andfrightened and cried out:

"Mercy, kind enemies! Mercy! Spare us, andwe will be your slaves forever!"

The other officers, who had now advanced intothe clearing, likewise fell upon their knees andbegged for mercy.

Files turned around and, seeing the strangersfor the first time, examined them with muchcuriosity. Then, discovering that three of theparty were girls, he lifted his cap and made apolite bow.

"What's all this?" demanded a harsh voice, asQueen Ann reached the place and beheld herkneeling army.

"Permit us to introduce ourselves," repliedShaggy, stepping forward. "This is Tik-Tok, theClockwork Man--who works better than some meatpeople. And here is Princess Ozga of Roseland,just now unfortunately exiled from her Kingdom ofRoses. I next present Polychrome, a sky fairy, wholost her Bow by an accident and can't find her wayhome. The small girl here is Betsy Bobbin, fromsome unknown earthly paradise called Oklahoma,and with her you see Mr. Hank, a mule with a longtail and a short temper.

"Puh!" said Ann, scornfully; "a pretty lot ofvagabonds you are, indeed; all lost or strayed,I suppose, and not worth a Queen's plundering.I'm sorry I've conquered you."

"But you haven't conquered us yet," calledBetsy indignantly.

"No," agreed Files, "that is a fact. But if myofficers will kindly command me to conquer you,I will do so at once, after which we can stoparguing and converse more at our ease."

The officers had by this time risen from theirknees and brushed the dust from their trousers. Tothem the enemy did not look very fierce, so theGenerals and Colonels and Majors and Captainsgained courage to face them and began strutting intheir most haughty manner.

"You must understand," said Ann, "that I am theQueen of Oogaboo, and this is my invincible Army.We are busy conquering the world, and since youseem to be a part of the world, and areobstructing our journey, it is necessary for us toconquer you unworthy though you may be of suchhigh honor."

"That's all right," replied Shaggy. "Conquer usas often as you like. We don't mind."

"But we won't be anybody's slaves," added Betsy,positively.

"We'll see about that," retorted the Queen,angrily. "Advance, Private Files, and bind theenemy hand and foot!"

But Private Files looked at pretty Betsy andfascinating Polychrome and the beautiful RosePrincess and shook his head.

"It would be impolite, and I won't do it," heasserted.

"You must!" cried Ann. "It is your duty to obeyorders."

"I haven't received any orders from myofficers," objected the Private.

But the Generals now shouted: "Forward, and bindthe prisoners!" and the Colonels and Majors andCaptains repeated the command, yelling it as loudas they could.

All this noise annoyed Hank, who had been eyeingthe Army of Oogaboo with strong disfavor. The mulenow dashed forward and began backing upon theofficers and kicking fierce and dangerous heels atthem. The attack was so sudden that the officersscattered like dust in a whirlwind, dropping theirswords as they ran and trying to seek refugebehind the trees and bushes.

Betsy laughed joyously at the comical rout ofthe "noble army," and Polychrome danced with glee.But Ann was furious at this ignoble defeat of hergallant forces by one small mule.

"Private Files, I command you to do your duty!"she cried again, and then she herself ducked toescape the mule's heels--for Hank made nodistinction in favor of a lady who was an openenemy. Betsy grabbed her champion by the forelock,however, and so held him fast, and when theofficers saw that the mule was restrained fromfurther attacks they crept fearfully back andpicked up their discarded swords.

"Private Files, seize and bind these prisoners!"screamed the Queen.

"No," said Files, throwing down his gun andremoving the knapsack which was strapped to hisback, "I resign my position as the Army ofOogaboo. I enlisted to fight the enemy and becomea hero, but if you want some one to bind harmlessgirls you will have to hire another Private."

Then he walked over to the others and shookhands with Shaggy and Tik-Tok.

"Treason!" shrieked Ann, and all the officersechoed her cry.

"Nonsense," said Files. "I've the right toresign if I want to."

"Indeed you haven't!" retorted the Queen. "Ifyou resign it will break up my Army, and then Icannot conquer the world." She now turned to theofficers and said: "I must ask you to do me afavor. I know it is undignified in officers tofight, but unless you immediately capture PrivateFiles and force him to obey my orders there willbe no plunder for any of us. Also it is likely youwill all suffer the pangs of hunger, and when wemeet a powerful foe you are liable to be capturedand made slaves."

The prospect of this awful fate so frightenedthe officers that they drew their swords andrushed upon Files, who stood beside Shaggy, in atruly ferocious manner. The next instant, however,they halted and again fell upon their knees; forthere, before them, was the glistening LoveMagnet, held in the hand of the smiling ShaggyMan, and the sight of this magic talisman at oncewon the heart of every Oogabooite. Even Ann sawthe Love Magnet, and forgetting all enmity andanger threw herself upon Shaggy and embraced himlovingly.

Quite disconcerted by this unexpected effect ofthe Magnet, Shaggy disengaged himself from theQueen's encircling arms and quickly hid thetalisman in his pocket. The adventurers fromOogaboo were now his firm friends, and there wasno more talk about conquering and binding any ofhis party.

"If you insist on conquering anyone," saidShaggy, "you may march with me to the undergroundKingdom of Ruggedo. To conquer the world, as youhave set out to do, you must conquer everyoneunder its surface as well as those upon itssurface, and no one in all the world needsconquering so much as Ruggedo."

"Who is he?" asked Ann.

"The Metal Monarch, King of the Nomes."

"Is he rich?" inquired Major Stockings in ananxious voice.

"Of course," answered Shaggy. "He owns allthe metal that lies underground--gold, silver,copper, brass and tin. He has an idea he alsoowns all the metals above ground, for he says allmetal was once a part of his kingdom. So, byconquering the Metal Monarch, you will win allthe riches in the world."

"Ah!" exclaimed General Apple, heaving adeep sigh, "that would be plunder worth ourwhile. Let's conquer him, Your Majesty."

The Queen looked reproachfully at Files, who wassitting next to the lovely Princess and whisperingin her ear.

"Alas," said Ann, "I have no longer an Army.I have plenty of brave officers, indeed, but noprivate soldier for them to command. ThereforeI cannot conquer Ruggedo and win all hiswealth."

"Why don't you make one of your officers thePrivate?" asked Shaggy; but at once every officerbegan to protest and the Queen of Oogaboo shookher head as she replied:

"That is impossible. A private soldier must be aterrible fighter, and my officers are unable tofight. They are exceptionally brave in commandingothers to fight, but could not themselves meetthe enemy and conquer."

"Very true, Your Majesty," said Colonel Plum,eagerly. "There are many kinds of bravery and onecannot be expected to possess them all. I myselfam brave as a lion in all ways until it comes tofighting, but then my nature revolts. Fighting isunkind and liable to be injurious to others; so,being a gentleman, I never fight."

"Nor I!" shouted each of the other officers.

"You see," said Ann, "how helpless I am. Had notPrivate Files proved himself a traitor and adeserter, I would gladly have conquered thisRuggedo; but an Army without a private soldier islike a bee without a stinger."

"I am not a traitor, Your Majesty," protestedFiles. "I resigned in a proper manner, not likingthe job. But there are plenty of people to take myplace. Why not make Shaggy Man the privatesoldier?"

"He might be killed," said Ann, looking tenderlyat Shaggy, "for he is mortal, and able to die. Ifanything happened to him, it would break myheart."

"It would hurt me worse than that," declaredShaggy. "You must admit, Your Majesty, that I amcommander of this expedition, for it is my brotherwe are seeking, rather than plunder. But I and mycompanions would like the assistance of your Army,and if you help us to conquer Ruggedo and torescue my brother from captivity we will allow youto keep all the gold and jewels and otherplunder you may find."

This prospect was so tempting that the officersbegan whispering together and presently ColonelCheese said: "Your Majesty, by combining ourbrains we have just evolved a most brilliant idea.We will make the Clockwork Man the privatesoldier!"

"Who? Me?" asked Tik-Tok. "Not for a sin-glesec-ond! I can-not fight, and you must not for-getthat it was Rug-ge-do who threw me in the well."

"At that time you had no gun," said Polychrome."But if you join the Army of Oogaboo you willcarry the gun that Mr. Files used."

"A sol-dier must be a-ble to run as well as tofight," protested Tik-Tok, "and if my works rundown, as they of-ten do, I could nei-ther run norfight."

"I'll keep you wound up, Tik-Tok," promisedBetsy.

"Why, it isn't a bad idea," said Shaggy. "Tik-Tok will make an ideal soldier, for nothing caninjure him except a sledge hammer. And, since aPrivate soldier seems to be necessary to thisArmy, Tik-Tok is the only one of our party fittedto undertake the job."

"What must I do?" asked Tik-Tok.

"Obey orders," replied Ann. "When the officerscommand you to do anything, you must doit; that is all."

"And that's enough, too," said Files.

"Do I get a salary?" inquired Tik-Tok.

"You get your share of the plunder," answeredthe Queen.

"Yes," remarked Files, "one-half of the plundergoes to Queen Ann, the other half is dividedamong the officers, and the Private gets therest."

"That will be sat-is-fac-tor-y," said Tik-Tok,picking up the gun and examining it wonderingly,for he had never before seen such a weapon.

Then Ann strapped the knapsack to Tik-Tok'scopper back and said: "Now we are ready to marchto Ruggedo's Kingdom and conquer it. Officers,give the command to march."

"Fall-in!" yelled the Generals, drawing theirswords.

"Fall-in!" cried the Colonels, drawing theirswords.

"Fall-in!" shouted the Majors, drawing theirswords.

"Fall-in!" bawled the Captains, drawing theirswords.

Tik-Tok looked at them and then around him insurprise.

"Fall in what? The well?" he asked.

"No," said Queen Ann, "you must fall in marchingorder."

"Can-not I march without fall-ing in-to it?"asked the Clockwork Man.

"Shoulder your gun and stand ready to march,"advised Files; so Tik-Tok held the gun straightand stood still."

"What next?" he asked.

The Queen turned to Shaggy.

"Which road leads to the Metal Monarch'scavern?"

"We don't know, Your Majesty," was the reply.

"But this is absurd!" said Ann with a frown."If we can't get to Ruggedo, it is certain that wecan't conquer him."

"You are right," admitted Shaggy; "but I didnot say we could not get to him. We have onlyto discover the way, and that was the matter we

were considering when you and your magnificentArmy arrived here."

"Well, then, get busy and discover it," snappedthe Queen.

That was no easy task. They all stood lookingfrom one road to another in perplexity. The pathsradiated from the little clearing like the rays ofthe midday sun, and each path seemed like all theothers.

Files and the Rose Princess, who had by thistime become good friends, advanced a little wayalong one of the roads and found that it wasbordered by pretty wild flowers.

"Why don't you ask the flowers to tell you theway?" he said to his companion.

"The flowers?" returned the Princess, surprisedat the question.

"Of course," said Files. "The field-flowers mustbe second-cousins to a Rose Princess, and Ibelieve if you ask them they will tell you."

She looked more closely at the flowers. Therewere hundreds of white daisies, golden buttercups,bluebells and daffodils growing by the roadside,and each flower-head was firmly set upon itsslender but stout stem. There were even a few wildroses scattered here and there and perhaps it wasthe sight of these that gave the Princess courageto ask the important question.

She dropped to her knees, facing the flowers,and extended both her arms pleadingly toward them.

"Tell me, pretty cousins," she said in hersweet, gentle voice, "which way will lead us tothe Kingdom of Ruggedo, the Nome King?"

At once all the stems bent gracefully to theright and the flower heads nodded once-twice-thrice in that direction.

"That's it!" cried Files joyfully. "Now weknow the way."

Ozga rose to her feet and looked wonderinglyat the field-flowers, which had now resumedtheir upright position.

"Was it the wind, do you think?" she askedin a low whisper.

"No, indeed," replied Files. "There is not abreath of wind stirring. But these lovely blossomsare indeed your cousins and answered your questionat once, as I knew they would."