Chapter 12

WHILE Miss Linton moped about the park and garden, always silent,and almost always in tears; and her brother shut himself up amongbooks that he never opened - wearying, I guessed, with a continualvague expectation that Catherine, repenting her conduct, would comeof her own accord to ask pardon, and seek a reconciliation - andSHE fasted pertinaciously, under the idea, probably, that at everymeal Edgar was ready to choke for her absence, and pride alone heldhim from running to cast himself at her feet; I went about myhousehold duties, convinced that the Grange had but one sensiblesoul in its walls, and that lodged in my body. I wasted nocondolences on Miss, nor any expostulations on my mistress; nor didI pay much attention to the sighs of my master, who yearned to hearhis lady's name, since he might not hear her voice. I determinedthey should come about as they pleased for me; and though it was atiresomely slow process, I began to rejoice at length in a faintdawn of its progress: as I thought at first.

Mrs. Linton, on the third day, unbarred her door, and havingfinished the water in her pitcher and decanter, desired a renewedsupply, and a basin of gruel, for she believed she was dying. ThatI set down as a speech meant for Edgar's ears; I believed no suchthing, so I kept it to myself and brought her some tea and drytoast. She ate and drank eagerly, and sank back on her pillowagain, clenching her hands and groaning. 'Oh, I will die,' sheexclaimed, 'since no one cares anything about me. I wish I had nottaken that.' Then a good while after I heard her murmur, 'No, I'llnot die - he'd be glad - he does not love me at all - he wouldnever miss me!'

'Did you want anything, ma'am?' I inquired, still preserving myexternal composure, in spite of her ghastly countenance andstrange, exaggerated manner.

'What is that apathetic being doing?' she demanded, pushing thethick entangled locks from her wasted face. 'Has he fallen into alethargy, or is he dead?'

'Neither,' replied I; 'if you mean Mr. Linton. He's tolerablywell, I think, though his studies occupy him rather more than theyought: he is continually among his books, since he has no othersociety.'

I should not have spoken so if I had known her true condition, butI could not get rid of the notion that she acted a part of herdisorder.

'Among his books!' she cried, confounded. 'And I dying! I on thebrink of the grave! My God! does he know how I'm altered?'continued she, staring at her reflection in a mirror hangingagainst the opposite wall. 'Is that Catherine Linton? Heimagines me in a pet - in play, perhaps. Cannot you inform himthat it is frightful earnest? Nelly, if it be not too late, assoon as I learn how he feels, I'll choose between these two:either to starve at once - that would be no punishment unless hehad a heart - or to recover, and leave the country. Are youspeaking the truth about him now? Take care. Is he actually soutterly indifferent for my life?'

'Why, ma'am,' I answered, 'the master has no idea of your beingderanged; and of course he does not fear that you will let yourselfdie of hunger.'

'You think not? Cannot you tell him I will?' she returned.'Persuade him! speak of your own mind: say you are certain Iwill!'

'No, you forget, Mrs. Linton,' I suggested, 'that you have eatensome food with a relish this evening, and to-morrow you willperceive its good effects.'

'If I were only sure it would kill him,' she interrupted, 'I'd killmyself directly! These three awful nights I've never closed mylids - and oh, I've been tormented! I've been haunted, Nelly! ButI begin to fancy you don't like me. How strange! I thought,though everybody hated and despised each other, they could notavoid loving me. And they have all turned to enemies in a fewhours: they have, I'm positive; the people here. How dreary tomeet death, surrounded by their cold faces! Isabella, terrifiedand repelled, afraid to enter the room, it would be so dreadful towatch Catherine go. And Edgar standing solemnly by to see it over;then offering prayers of thanks to God for restoring peace to hishouse, and going back to his BOOKS! What in the name of all thatfeels has he to do with BOOKS, when I am dying?'

She could not bear the notion which I had put into her head of Mr.Linton's philosophical resignation. Tossing about, she increasedher feverish bewilderment to madness, and tore the pillow with herteeth; then raising herself up all burning, desired that I wouldopen the window. We were in the middle of winter, the wind blewstrong from the north-east, and I objected. Both the expressionsflitting over her face, and the changes of her moods, began toalarm me terribly; and brought to my recollection her formerillness, and the doctor's injunction that she should not becrossed. A minute previously she was violent; now, supported onone arm, and not noticing my refusal to obey her, she seemed tofind childish diversion in pulling the feathers from the rents shehad just made, and ranging them on the sheet according to theirdifferent species: her mind had strayed to other associations.

'That's a turkey's,' she murmured to herself; 'and this is a wildduck's; and this is a pigeon's. Ah, they put pigeons' feathers inthe pillows - no wonder I couldn't die! Let me take care to throwit on the floor when I lie down. And here is a moor-cock's; andthis - I should know it among a thousand - it's a lapwing's. Bonnybird; wheeling over our heads in the middle of the moor. It wantedto get to its nest, for the clouds had touched the swells, and itfelt rain coming. This feather was picked up from the heath, thebird was not shot: we saw its nest in the winter, full of littleskeletons. Heathcliff set a trap over it, and the old ones darednot come. I made him promise he'd never shoot a lapwing afterthat, and he didn't. Yes, here are more! Did he shoot mylapwings, Nelly? Are they red, any of them? Let me look.'

'Give over with that baby-work!' I interrupted, dragging the pillowaway, and turning the holes towards the mattress, for she wasremoving its contents by handfuls. 'Lie down and shut your eyes:you're wandering. There's a mess! The down is flying about likesnow.'

I went here and there collecting it.

'I see in you, Nelly,' she continued dreamily, 'an aged woman: youhave grey hair and bent shoulders. This bed is the fairy caveunder Penistone crags, and you are gathering elf-bolts to hurt ourheifers; pretending, while I am near, that they are only locks ofwool. That's what you'll come to fifty years hence: I know youare not so now. I'm not wandering: you're mistaken, or else Ishould believe you really WERE that withered hag, and I shouldthink I WAS under Penistone Crags; and I'm conscious it's night,and there are two candles on the table making the black press shinelike jet.'

'The black press? where is that?' I asked. 'You are talking inyour sleep!'

'It's against the wall, as it always is,' she replied. 'It DOESappear odd - I see a face in it!'

'There's no press in the room, and never was,' said I, resuming myseat, and looping up the curtain that I might watch her.

'Don't YOU see that face?' she inquired, gazing earnestly at themirror.

And say what I could, I was incapable of making her comprehend itto be her own; so I rose and covered it with a shawl.

'It's behind there still!' she pursued, anxiously. 'And itstirred. Who is it? I hope it will not come out when you aregone! Oh! Nelly, the room is haunted! I'm afraid of beingalone!'

I took her hand in mine, and bid her be composed; for a successionof shudders convulsed her frame, and she would keep straining hergaze towards the glass.

'There's nobody here!' I insisted. 'It was YOURSELF, Mrs. Linton:you knew it a while since.'

'Myself!' she gasped, 'and the clock is striking twelve! It'strue, then! that's dreadful!'

Her fingers clutched the clothes, and gathered them over her eyes.I attempted to steal to the door with an intention of calling herhusband; but I was summoned back by a piercing shriek - the shawlhad dropped from the frame.

'Why, what is the matter?' cried I. 'Who is coward now? Wake up!That is the glass - the mirror, Mrs. Linton; and you see yourselfin it, and there am I too by your side.'

Trembling and bewildered, she held me fast, but the horrorgradually passed from her countenance; its paleness gave place to aglow of shame.

'Oh, dear! I thought I was at home,' she sighed. 'I thought I waslying in my chamber at Wuthering Heights. Because I'm weak, mybrain got confused, and I screamed unconsciously. Don't sayanything; but stay with me. I dread sleeping: my dreams appalme.'

'A sound sleep would do you good, ma'am,' I answered: 'and I hopethis suffering will prevent your trying starving again.'

'Oh, if I were but in my own bed in the old house!' she went onbitterly, wringing her hands. 'And that wind sounding in the firsby the lattice. Do let me feel it - it comes straight down themoor - do let me have one breath!' To pacify her I held thecasement ajar a few seconds. A cold blast rushed through; I closedit, and returned to my post. She lay still now, her face bathed intears. Exhaustion of body had entirely subdued her spirit: ourfiery Catherine was no better than a wailing child.

'How long is it since I shut myself in here?' she asked, suddenlyreviving.

'It was Monday evening,' I replied, 'and this is Thursday night, orrather Friday morning, at present.'

'What! of the same week?' she exclaimed. 'Only that brief time?'

'Long enough to live on nothing but cold water and ill-temper,'observed I.

'Well, it seems a weary number of hours,' she muttered doubtfully:'it must be more. I remember being in the parlour after they hadquarrelled, and Edgar being cruelly provoking, and me running intothis room desperate. As soon as ever I had barred the door, utterblackness overwhelmed me, and I fell on the floor. I couldn'texplain to Edgar how certain I felt of having a fit, or goingraging mad, if he persisted in teasing me! I had no command oftongue, or brain, and he did not guess my agony, perhaps: itbarely left me sense to try to escape from him and his voice.Before I recovered sufficiently to see and hear, it began to bedawn, and, Nelly, I'll tell you what I thought, and what has keptrecurring and recurring till I feared for my reason. I thought asI lay there, with my head against that table leg, and my eyes dimlydiscerning the grey square of the window, that I was enclosed inthe oak-panelled bed at home; and my heart ached with some greatgrief which, just waking, I could not recollect. I pondered, andworried myself to discover what it could be, and, most strangely,the whole last seven years of my life grew a blank! I did notrecall that they had been at all. I was a child; my father wasjust buried, and my misery arose from the separation that Hindleyhad ordered between me and Heathcliff. I was laid alone, for thefirst time; and, rousing from a dismal doze after a night ofweeping, I lifted my hand to push the panels aside: it struck thetable-top! I swept it along the carpet, and then memory burst in:my late anguish was swallowed in a paroxysm of despair. I cannotsay why I felt so wildly wretched: it must have been temporaryderangement; for there is scarcely cause. But, supposing at twelveyears old I had been wrenched from the Heights, and every earlyassociation, and my all in all, as Heathcliff was at that time, andbeen converted at a stroke into Mrs. Linton, the lady ofThrushcross Grange, and the wife of a stranger: an exile, andoutcast, thenceforth, from what had been my world. You may fancy aglimpse of the abyss where I grovelled! Shake your head as youwill, Nelly, you have helped to unsettle me! You should havespoken to Edgar, indeed you should, and compelled him to leave mequiet! Oh, I'm burning! I wish I were out of doors! I wish Iwere a girl again, half savage and hardy, and free; and laughing atinjuries, not maddening under them! Why am I so changed? why doesmy blood rush into a hell of tumult at a few words? I'm sure Ishould be myself were I once among the heather on those hills.Open the window again wide: fasten it open! Quick, why don't youmove?'

'Because I won't give you your death of cold,' I answered.

'You won't give me a chance of life, you mean,' she said, sullenly.'However, I'm not helpless yet; I'll open it myself.'

And sliding from the bed before I could hinder her, she crossed theroom, walking very uncertainly, threw it back, and bent out,careless of the frosty air that cut about her shoulders as keen asa knife. I entreated, and finally attempted to force her toretire. But I soon found her delirious strength much surpassedmine (she was delirious, I became convinced by her subsequentactions and ravings). There was no moon, and everything beneathlay in misty darkness: not a light gleamed from any house, far ornear all had been extinguished long ago: and those at WutheringHeights were never visible - still she asserted she caught theirshining.

'Look!' she cried eagerly, 'that's my room with the candle in it,and the trees swaying before it; and the other candle is inJoseph's garret. Joseph sits up late, doesn't he? He's waitingtill I come home that he may lock the gate. Well, he'll wait awhile yet. It's a rough journey, and a sad heart to travel it; andwe must pass by Gimmerton Kirk to go that journey! We've bravedits ghosts often together, and dared each other to stand among thegraves and ask them to come. But, Heathcliff, if I dare you now,will you venture? If you do, I'll keep you. I'll not lie there bymyself: they may bury me twelve feet deep, and throw the churchdown over me, but I won't rest till you are with me. I neverwill!'

She paused, and resumed with a strange smile. 'He's considering -he'd rather I'd come to him! Find a way, then! not through thatkirkyard. You are slow! Be content, you always followed me!'

Perceiving it vain to argue against her insanity, I was planninghow I could reach something to wrap about her, without quitting myhold of herself (for I could not trust her alone by the gapinglattice), when, to my consternation, I heard the rattle of thedoor-handle, and Mr. Linton entered. He had only then come fromthe library; and, in passing through the lobby, had noticed ourtalking and been attracted by curiosity, or fear, to examine whatit signified, at that late hour.

'Oh, sir!' I cried, checking the exclamation risen to his lips atthe sight which met him, and the bleak atmosphere of the chamber.'My poor mistress is ill, and she quite masters me: I cannotmanage her at all; pray, come and persuade her to go to bed.Forget your anger, for she's hard to guide any way but her own.'

'Catherine ill?' he said, hastening to us. 'Shut the window,Ellen! Catherine! why - '

He was silent. The haggardness of Mrs. Linton's appearance smotehim speechless, and he could only glance from her to me inhorrified astonishment.

'She's been fretting here,' I continued, 'and eating scarcelyanything, and never complaining: she would admit none of us tillthis evening, and so we couldn't inform you of her state, as wewere not aware of it ourselves; but it is nothing.'

I felt I uttered my explanations awkwardly; the master frowned.'It is nothing, is it, Ellen Dean?' he said sternly. 'You shallaccount more clearly for keeping me ignorant of this!' And he tookhis wife in his arms, and looked at her with anguish.

At first she gave him no glance of recognition: he was invisibleto her abstracted gaze. The delirium was not fixed, however;having weaned her eyes from contemplating the outer darkness, bydegrees she centred her attention on him, and discovered who it wasthat held her.

'Ah! you are come, are you, Edgar Linton?' she said, with angryanimation. 'You are one of those things that are ever found whenleast wanted, and when you are wanted, never! I suppose we shallhave plenty of lamentations now - I see we shall - but they can'tkeep me from my narrow home out yonder: my resting-place, whereI'm bound before spring is over! There it is: not among theLintons, mind, under the chapel-roof, but in the open air, with ahead-stone; and you may please yourself whether you go to them orcome to me!'

'Catherine, what have you done?' commenced the master. 'Am Inothing to you any more? Do you love that wretch Heath - '

'Hush!' cried Mrs. Linton. 'Hush, this moment! You mention thatname and I end the matter instantly by a spring from the window!What you touch at present you may have; but my soul will be on thathill-top before you lay hands on me again. I don't want you,Edgar: I'm past wanting you. Return to your books. I'm glad youpossess a consolation, for all you had in me is gone.'

'Her mind wanders, sir,' I interposed. 'She has been talkingnonsense the whole evening; but let her have quiet, and properattendance, and she'll rally. Hereafter, we must be cautious howwe vex her.'

'I desire no further advice from you,' answered Mr. Linton. 'Youknew your mistress's nature, and you encouraged me to harass her.And not to give me one hint of how she has been these three days!It was heartless! Months of sickness could not cause such achange!'

I began to defend myself, thinking it too bad to be blamed foranother's wicked waywardness. 'I knew Mrs. Linton's nature to beheadstrong and domineering,' cried I: 'but I didn't know that youwished to foster her fierce temper! I didn't know that, to humourher, I should wink at Mr. Heathcliff. I performed the duty of afaithful servant in telling you, and I have got a faithfulservant's wages! Well, it will teach me to be careful next time.Next time you may gather intelligence for yourself!'

'The next time you bring a tale to me you shall quit my service,Ellen Dean,' he replied.

'You'd rather hear nothing about it, I suppose, then, Mr. Linton?'said I. 'Heathcliff has your permission to come a-courting toMiss, and to drop in at every opportunity your absence offers, onpurpose to poison the mistress against you?'

Confused as Catherine was, her wits were alert at applying ourconversation.

'Ah! Nelly has played traitor,' she exclaimed, passionately.'Nelly is my hidden enemy. You witch! So you do seek elf-bolts tohurt us! Let me go, and I'll make her rue! I'll make her howl arecantation!'

A maniac's fury kindled under her brows; she struggled desperatelyto disengage herself from Linton's arms. I felt no inclination totarry the event; and, resolving to seek medical aid on my ownresponsibility, I quitted the chamber.

In passing the garden to reach the road, at a place where a bridlehook is driven into the wall, I saw something white movedirregularly, evidently by another agent than the wind.Notwithstanding my hurry, I stayed to examine it, lest ever after Ishould have the conviction impressed on my imagination that it wasa creature of the other world. My surprise and perplexity weregreat on discovering, by touch more than vision, Miss Isabella'sspringer, Fanny, suspended by a handkerchief, and nearly at itslast gasp. I quickly released the animal, and lifted it into thegarden. I had seen it follow its mistress up-stairs when she wentto bed; and wondered much how it could have got out there, and whatmischievous person had treated it so. While untying the knot roundthe hook, it seemed to me that I repeatedly caught the beat ofhorses' feet galloping at some distance; but there were such anumber of things to occupy my reflections that I hardly gave thecircumstance a thought: though it was a strange sound, in thatplace, at two o'clock in the morning.

Mr. Kenneth was fortunately just issuing from his house to see apatient in the village as I came up the street; and my account ofCatherine Linton's malady induced him to accompany me backimmediately. He was a plain rough man; and he made no scruple tospeak his doubts of her surviving this second attack; unless shewere more submissive to his directions than she had shown herselfbefore.

'Nelly Dean,' said he, 'I can't help fancying there's an extracause for this. What has there been to do at the Grange? We'veodd reports up here. A stout, hearty lass like Catherine does notfall ill for a trifle; and that sort of people should not either.It's hard work bringing them through fevers, and such things. Howdid it begin?'

'The master will inform you,' I answered; 'but you are acquaintedwith the Earnshaws' violent dispositions, and Mrs. Linton caps themall. I may say this; it commenced in a quarrel. She was struckduring a tempest of passion with a kind of fit. That's heraccount, at least: for she flew off in the height of it, andlocked herself up. Afterwards, she refused to eat, and now shealternately raves and remains in a half dream; knowing those abouther, but having her mind filled with all sorts of strange ideas andillusions.'

'Mr. Linton will be sorry?' observed Kenneth, interrogatively.

' Sorry? he'll break his heart should anything happen!' I replied.'Don't alarm him more than necessary.'

'Well, I told him to beware,' said my companion; 'and he must bidethe consequences of neglecting my warning! Hasn't he been intimatewith Mr. Heathcliff lately?'

'Heathcliff frequently visits at the Grange,' answered I, 'thoughmore on the strength of the mistress having known him when a boy,than because the master likes his company. At present he'sdischarged from the trouble of calling; owing to some presumptuousaspirations after Miss Linton which he manifested. I hardly thinkhe'll be taken in again.'

'And does Miss Linton turn a cold shoulder on him?' was thedoctor's next question.

'I'm not in her confidence,' returned I, reluctant to continue thesubject.

'No, she's a sly one,' he remarked, shaking his head. 'She keepsher own counsel! But she's a real little fool. I have it fromgood authority that last night (and a pretty night it was!) she andHeathcliff were walking in the plantation at the back of your houseabove two hours; and he pressed her not to go in again, but justmount his horse and away with him! My informant said she couldonly put him off by pledging her word of honour to be prepared ontheir first meeting after that: when it was to be he didn't hear;but you urge Mr. Linton to look sharp!'

This news filled me with fresh fears; I outstripped Kenneth, andran most of the way back. The little dog was yelping in the gardenyet. I spared a minute to open the gate for it, but instead ofgoing to the house door, it coursed up and down snuffing the grass,and would have escaped to the road, had I not seized it andconveyed it in with me. On ascending to Isabella's room, mysuspicions were confirmed: it was empty. Had I been a few hourssooner Mrs. Linton's illness might have arrested her rash step.But what could be done now? There was a bare possibility ofovertaking them if pursued instantly. I could not pursue them,however; and I dared not rouse the family, and fill the place withconfusion; still less unfold the business to my master, absorbed ashe was in his present calamity, and having no heart to spare for asecond grief! I saw nothing for it but to hold my tongue, andsuffer matters to take their course; and Kenneth being arrived, Iwent with a badly composed countenance to announce him. Catherinelay in a troubled sleep: her husband had succeeded in soothing theexcess of frenzy; he now hung over her pillow, watching every shadeand every change of her painfully expressive features.

The doctor, on examining the case for himself, spoke hopefully tohim of its having a favourable termination, if we could onlypreserve around her perfect and constant tranquillity. To me, hesignified the threatening danger was not so much death, aspermanent alienation of intellect.

I did not close my eyes that night, nor did Mr. Linton: indeed, wenever went to bed; and the servants were all up long before theusual hour, moving through the house with stealthy tread, andexchanging whispers as they encountered each other in theirvocations. Every one was active but Miss Isabella; and they beganto remark how sound she slept: her brother, too, asked if she hadrisen, and seemed impatient for her presence, and hurt that sheshowed so little anxiety for her sister-in-law. I trembled lest heshould send me to call her; but I was spared the pain of being thefirst proclaimant of her flight. One of the maids, a thoughtlessgirl, who had been on an early errand to Gimmerton, came pantingup-stairs, open-mouthed, and dashed into the chamber, crying: 'Oh,dear, dear! What mun we have next? Master, master, our young lady- '

'Hold your noise!' cried, I hastily, enraged at her clamorousmanner.

'Speak lower, Mary - What is the matter?' said Mr. Linton. 'Whatails your young lady?'

'She's gone, she's gone! Yon' Heathcliff's run off wi' her!'gasped the girl.

'That is not true!' exclaimed Linton, rising in agitation. 'Itcannot be: how has the idea entered your head? Ellen Dean, go andseek her. It is incredible: it cannot be.'

As he spoke he took the servant to the door, and then repeated hisdemand to know her reasons for such an assertion.

'Why, I met on the road a lad that fetches milk here,' shestammered, 'and he asked whether we weren't in trouble at theGrange. I thought he meant for missis's sickness, so I answered,yes. Then says he, "There's somebody gone after 'em, I guess?" Istared. He saw I knew nought about it, and he told how a gentlemanand lady had stopped to have a horse's shoe fastened at ablacksmith's shop, two miles out of Gimmerton, not very long aftermidnight! and how the blacksmith's lass had got up to spy who theywere: she knew them both directly. And she noticed the man -Heathcliff it was, she felt certain: nob'dy could mistake him,besides - put a sovereign in her father's hand for payment. Thelady had a cloak about her face; but having desired a sup of water,while she drank it fell back, and she saw her very plain.Heathcliff held both bridles as they rode on, and they set theirfaces from the village, and went as fast as the rough roads wouldlet them. The lass said nothing to her father, but she told it allover Gimmerton this morning.'

I ran and peeped, for form's sake, into Isabella's room;confirming, when I returned, the servant's statement. Mr. Lintonhad resumed his seat by the bed; on my re-entrance, he raised hiseyes, read the meaning of my blank aspect, and dropped them withoutgiving an order, or uttering a word.

'Are we to try any measures for overtaking and bringing her back,'I inquired. 'How should we do?'

'She went of her own accord,' answered the master; 'she had a rightto go if she pleased. Trouble me no more about her. Hereafter sheis only my sister in name: not because I disown her, but becauseshe has disowned me.'

And that was all he said on the subject: he did not make singleinquiry further, or mention her in any way, except directing me tosend what property she had in the house to her fresh home, whereverit was, when I knew it.