Chapter 29
THE evening after the funeral, my young lady and I were seated inthe library; now musing mournfully - one of us despairingly - onour loss, now venturing conjectures as to the gloomy future.
We had just agreed the best destiny which could await Catherinewould be a permission to continue resident at the Grange; at leastduring Linton's life: he being allowed to join her there, and I toremain as housekeeper. That seemed rather too favourable anarrangement to be hoped for; and yet I did hope, and began to cheerup under the prospect of retaining my home and my employment, and,above all, my beloved young mistress; when a servant - one of thediscarded ones, not yet departed - rushed hastily in, and said'that devil Heathcliff' was coming through the court: should hefasten the door in his face?
If we had been mad enough to order that proceeding, we had nottime. He made no ceremony of knocking or announcing his name: hewas master, and availed himself of the master's privilege to walkstraight in, without saying a word. The sound of our informant'svoice directed him to the library; he entered and motioning himout, shut the door.
It was the same room into which he had been ushered, as a guest,eighteen years before: the same moon shone through the window; andthe same autumn landscape lay outside. We had not yet lighted acandle, but all the apartment was visible, even to the portraits onthe wall: the splendid head of Mrs. Linton, and the graceful oneof her husband. Heathcliff advanced to the hearth. Time hadlittle altered his person either. There was the same man: hisdark face rather sallower and more composed, his frame a stone ortwo heavier, perhaps, and no other difference. Catherine had risenwith an impulse to dash out, when she saw him.
'Stop!' he said, arresting her by the arm. 'No more runnings away!Where would you go? I'm come to fetch you home; and I hope you'llbe a dutiful daughter and not encourage my son to furtherdisobedience. I was embarrassed how to punish him when Idiscovered his part in the business: he's such a cobweb, a pinchwould annihilate him; but you'll see by his look that he hasreceived his due! I brought him down one evening, the day beforeyesterday, and just set him in a chair, and never touched himafterwards. I sent Hareton out, and we had the room to ourselves.In two hours, I called Joseph to carry him up again; and since thenmy presence is as potent on his nerves as a ghost; and I fancy hesees me often, though I am not near. Hareton says he wakes andshrieks in the night by the hour together, and calls you to protecthim from me; and, whether you like your precious mate, or not, youmust come: he's your concern now; I yield all my interest in himto you.'
'Why not let Catherine continue here,' I pleaded, 'and send MasterLinton to her? As you hate them both, you'd not miss them: theycan only be a daily plague to your unnatural heart.'
'I'm seeking a tenant for the Grange,' he answered; 'and I want mychildren about me, to be sure. Besides, that lass owes me herservices for her bread. I'm not going to nurture her in luxury andidleness after Linton is gone. Make haste and get ready, now; anddon't oblige me to compel you.'
'I shall,' said Catherine. 'Linton is all I have to love in theworld, and though you have done what you could to make him hatefulto me, and me to him, you cannot make us hate each other. And Idefy you to hurt him when I am by, and I defy you to frighten me!'
'You are a boastful champion,' replied Heathcliff; 'but I don'tlike you well enough to hurt him: you shall get the full benefitof the torment, as long as it lasts. It is not I who will make himhateful to you - it is his own sweet spirit. He's as bitter asgall at your desertion and its consequences: don't expect thanksfor this noble devotion. I heard him draw a pleasant picture toZillah of what he would do if he were as strong as I: theinclination is there, and his very weakness will sharpen his witsto find a substitute for strength.'
'I know he has a bad nature,' said Catherine: 'he's your son. ButI'm glad I've a better, to forgive it; and I know he loves me, andfor that reason I love him. Mr. Heathcliff YOU have NOBODY to loveyou; and, however miserable you make us, we shall still have therevenge of thinking that your cruelty arises from your greatermisery. You ARE miserable, are you not? Lonely, like the devil,and envious like him? NOBODY loves you - NOBODY will cry for youwhen you die! I wouldn't be you!'
Catherine spoke with a kind of dreary triumph: she seemed to havemade up her mind to enter into the spirit of her future family, anddraw pleasure from the griefs of her enemies.
'You shall be sorry to be yourself presently,' said her father-in-law, 'if you stand there another minute. Begone, witch, and getyour things!'
She scornfully withdrew. In her absence I began to beg forZillah's place at the Heights, offering to resign mine to her; buthe would suffer it on no account. He bid me be silent; and then,for the first time, allowed himself a glance round the room and alook at the pictures. Having studied Mrs. Linton's, he said - 'Ishall have that home. Not because I need it, but - ' He turnedabruptly to the fire, and continued, with what, for lack of abetter word, I must call a smile - 'I'll tell you what I didyesterday! I got the sexton, who was digging Linton's grave, toremove the earth off her coffin lid, and I opened it. I thought,once, I would have stayed there: when I saw her face again - it ishers yet! - he had hard work to stir me; but he said it wouldchange if the air blew on it, and so I struck one side of thecoffin loose, and covered it up: not Linton's side, damn him! Iwish he'd been soldered in lead. And I bribed the sexton to pullit away when I'm laid there, and slide mine out too; I'll have itmade so: and then by the time Linton gets to us he'll not knowwhich is which!'
'You were very wicked, Mr. Heathcliff!' I exclaimed; 'were you notashamed to disturb the dead?'
'I disturbed nobody, Nelly,' he replied; 'and I gave some ease tomyself. I shall be a great deal more comfortable now; and you'llhave a better chance of keeping me underground, when I get there.Disturbed her? No! she has disturbed me, night and day, througheighteen years - incessantly - remorselessly - till yesternight;and yesternight I was tranquil. I dreamt I was sleeping the lastsleep by that sleeper, with my heart stopped and my cheek frozenagainst hers.'
'And if she had been dissolved into earth, or worse, what would youhave dreamt of then?' I said.
'Of dissolving with her, and being more happy still!' he answered.'Do you suppose I dread any change of that sort? I expected such atransformation on raising the lid - but I'm better pleased that itshould not commence till I share it. Besides, unless I hadreceived a distinct impression of her passionless features, thatstrange feeling would hardly have been removed. It began oddly.You know I was wild after she died; and eternally, from dawn todawn, praying her to return to me her spirit! I have a strongfaith in ghosts: I have a conviction that they can, and do, existamong us! The day she was buried, there came a fall of snow. Inthe evening I went to the churchyard. It blew bleak as winter -all round was solitary. I didn't fear that her fool of a husbandwould wander up the glen so late; and no one else had business tobring them there. Being alone, and conscious two yards of looseearth was the sole barrier between us, I said to myself - 'I'llhave her in my arms again! If she be cold, I'll think it is thisnorth wind that chills ME; and if she be motionless, it is sleep."I got a spade from the tool-house, and began to delve with all mymight - it scraped the coffin; I fell to work with my hands; thewood commenced cracking about the screws; I was on the point ofattaining my object, when it seemed that I heard a sigh from someone above, close at the edge of the grave, and bending down. "If Ican only get this off," I muttered, "I wish they may shovel in theearth over us both!" and I wrenched at it more desperately still.There was another sigh, close at my ear. I appeared to feel thewarm breath of it displacing the sleet-laden wind. I knew noliving thing in flesh and blood was by; but, as certainly as youperceive the approach to some substantial body in the dark, thoughit cannot be discerned, so certainly I felt that Cathy was there:not under me, but on the earth. A sudden sense of relief flowedfrom my heart through every limb. I relinquished my labour ofagony, and turned consoled at once: unspeakably consoled. Herpresence was with me: it remained while I re-filled the grave, andled me home. You may laugh, if you will; but I was sure I shouldsee her there. I was sure she was with me, and I could not helptalking to her. Having reached the Heights, I rushed eagerly tothe door. It was fastened; and, I remember, that accursed Earnshawand my wife opposed my entrance. I remember stopping to kick thebreath out of him, and then hurrying up-stairs, to my room andhers. I looked round impatiently - I felt her by me - I couldALMOST see her, and yet I COULD NOT! I ought to have sweat bloodthen, from the anguish of my yearning - from the fervour of mysupplications to have but one glimpse! I had not one. She showedherself, as she often was in life, a devil to me! And, since then,sometimes more and sometimes less, I've been the sport of thatintolerable torture! Infernal! keeping my nerves at such a stretchthat, if they had not resembled catgut, they would long ago haverelaxed to the feebleness of Linton's. When I sat in the housewith Hareton, it seemed that on going out I should meet her; when Iwalked on the moors I should meet her coming in. When I went fromhome I hastened to return; she MUST be somewhere at the Heights, Iwas certain! And when I slept in her chamber - I was beaten out ofthat. I couldn't lie there; for the moment I closed my eyes, shewas either outside the window, or sliding back the panels, orentering the room, or even resting her darling head on the samepillow as she did when a child; and I must open my lids to see.And so I opened and closed them a hundred times a night - to bealways disappointed! It racked me! I've often groaned aloud, tillthat old rascal Joseph no doubt believed that my conscience wasplaying the fiend inside of me. Now, since I've seen her, I'mpacified - a little. It was a strange way of killing: not byinches, but by fractions of hairbreadths, to beguile me with thespectre of a hope through eighteen years!'
Mr. Heathcliff paused and wiped his forehead; his hair clung to it,wet with perspiration; his eyes were fixed on the red embers of thefire, the brows not contracted, but raised next the temples;diminishing the grim aspect of his countenance, but imparting apeculiar look of trouble, and a painful appearance of mentaltension towards one absorbing subject. He only half addressed me,and I maintained silence. I didn't like to hear him talk! After ashort period he resumed his meditation on the picture, took it downand leant it against the sofa to contemplate it at betteradvantage; and while so occupied Catherine entered, announcing thatshe was ready, when her pony should be saddled.
'Send that over to-morrow,' said Heathcliff to me; then turning toher, he added: 'You may do without your pony: it is a fineevening, and you'll need no ponies at Wuthering Heights; for whatjourneys you take, your own feet will serve you. Come along.'
'Good-bye, Ellen!' whispered my dear little mistress.
As she kissed me, her lips felt like ice. 'Come and see me, Ellen;don't forget.'
'Take care you do no such thing, Mrs. Dean!' said her new father.'When I wish to speak to you I'll come here. I want none of yourprying at my house!'
He signed her to precede him; and casting back a look that cut myheart, she obeyed. I watched them, from the window, walk down thegarden. Heathcliff fixed Catherine's arm under his: though shedisputed the act at first evidently; and with rapid strides hehurried her into the alley, whose trees concealed them.