Ere the half-hour ended, five o'clock struck; school was dismissed,and all were gone into the refectory to tea. I now ventured todescend: it was deep dusk; I retired into a corner and sat down onthe floor. The spell by which I had been so far supported began todissolve; reaction took place, and soon, so overwhelming was thegrief that seized me, I sank prostrate with my face to the ground.Now I wept: Helen Burns was not here; nothing sustained me; left tomyself I abandoned myself, and my tears watered the boards. I hadmeant to be so good, and to do so much at Lowood: to make so manyfriends, to earn respect and win affection. Already I had madevisible progress: that very morning I had reached the head of myclass; Miss Miller had praised me warmly; Miss Temple had smiledapprobation; she had promised to teach me drawing, and to let melearn French, if I continued to make similar improvement two monthslonger: and then I was well received by my fellow-pupils; treatedas an equal by those of my own age, and not molested by any; now,here I lay again crushed and trodden on; and could I ever rise more?

"Never," I thought; and ardently I wished to die. While sobbing outthis wish in broken accents, some one approached: I started up--again Helen Burns was near me; the fading fires just showed hercoming up the long, vacant room; she brought my coffee and bread.

"Come, eat something," she said; but I put both away from me,feeling as if a drop or a crumb would have choked me in my presentcondition. Helen regarded me, probably with surprise: I could notnow abate my agitation, though I tried hard; I continued to weepaloud. She sat down on the ground near me, embraced her knees withher arms, and rested her head upon them; in that attitude sheremained silent as an Indian. I was the first who spoke -

"Helen, why do you stay with a girl whom everybody believes to be aliar?"

"Everybody, Jane? Why, there are only eighty people who have heardyou called so, and the world contains hundreds of millions."

"But what have I to do with millions? The eighty, I know, despiseme."

"Jane, you are mistaken: probably not one in the school eitherdespises or dislikes you: many, I am sure, pity you much."

"How can they pity me after what Mr. Brocklehurst has said?"

"Mr. Brocklehurst is not a god: nor is he even a great and admiredman: he is little liked here; he never took steps to make himselfliked. Had he treated you as an especial favourite, you would havefound enemies, declared or covert, all around you; as it is, thegreater number would offer you sympathy if they dared. Teachers andpupils may look coldly on you for a day or two, but friendlyfeelings are concealed in their hearts; and if you persevere indoing well, these feelings will ere long appear so much the moreevidently for their temporary suppression. Besides, Jane"--shepaused.

"Well, Helen?" said I, putting my hand into hers: she chafed myfingers gently to warm them, and went on -

"If all the world hated you, and believed you wicked, while your ownconscience approved you, and absolved you from guilt, you would notbe without friends."

"No; I know I should think well of myself; but that is not enough:if others don't love me I would rather die than live--I cannot bearto be solitary and hated, Helen. Look here; to gain some realaffection from you, or Miss Temple, or any other whom I truly love,I would willingly submit to have the bone of my arm broken, or tolet a bull toss me, or to stand behind a kicking horse, and let itdash its hoof at my chest--"

"Hush, Jane! you think too much of the love of human beings; you aretoo impulsive, too vehement; the sovereign hand that created yourframe, and put life into it, has provided you with other resourcesthan your feeble self, or than creatures feeble as you. Besidesthis earth, and besides the race of men, there is an invisible worldand a kingdom of spirits: that world is round us, for it iseverywhere; and those spirits watch us, for they are commissioned toguard us; and if we were dying in pain and shame, if scorn smote uson all sides, and hatred crushed us, angels see our tortures,recognise our innocence (if innocent we be: as I know you are ofthis charge which Mr. Brocklehurst has weakly and pompously repeatedat second-hand from Mrs. Reed; for I read a sincere nature in yourardent eyes and on your clear front), and God waits only theseparation of spirit from flesh to crown us with a full reward.Why, then, should we ever sink overwhelmed with distress, when lifeis so soon over, and death is so certain an entrance to happiness--to glory?"

I was silent; Helen had calmed me; but in the tranquillity sheimparted there was an alloy of inexpressible sadness. I felt theimpression of woe as she spoke, but I could not tell whence it came;and when, having done speaking, she breathed a little fast andcoughed a short cough, I momentarily forgot my own sorrows to yieldto a vague concern for her.

Resting my head on Helen's shoulder, I put my arms round her waist;she drew me to her, and we reposed in silence. We had not sat longthus, when another person came in. Some heavy clouds, swept fromthe sky by a rising wind, had left the moon bare; and her light,streaming in through a window near, shone full both on us and on theapproaching figure, which we at once recognised as Miss Temple.

"I came on purpose to find you, Jane Eyre," said she; "I want you inmy room; and as Helen Burns is with you, she may come too."

We went; following the superintendent's guidance, we had to threadsome intricate passages, and mount a staircase before we reached herapartment; it contained a good fire, and looked cheerful. MissTemple told Helen Burns to be seated in a low arm-chair on one sideof the hearth, and herself taking another, she called me to herside.

"Is it all over?" she asked, looking down at my face. "Have youcried your grief away?"

"I am afraid I never shall do that."

"Why?"

"Because I have been wrongly accused; and you, ma'am, and everybodyelse, will now think me wicked."

"We shall think you what you prove yourself to be, my child.Continue to act as a good girl, and you will satisfy us."

"Shall I, Miss Temple?"

"You will," said she, passing her arm round me. "And now tell mewho is the lady whom Mr. Brocklehurst called your benefactress?"

"Mrs. Reed, my uncle's wife. My uncle is dead, and he left me toher care."

"Did she not, then, adopt you of her own accord?"

"No, ma'am; she was sorry to have to do it: but my uncle, as I haveoften heard the servants say, got her to promise before he died thatshe would always keep me."

"Well now, Jane, you know, or at least I will tell you, that when acriminal is accused, he is always allowed to speak in his owndefence. You have been charged with falsehood; defend yourself tome as well as you can. Say whatever your memory suggests is true;but add nothing and exaggerate nothing."

I resolved, in the depth of my heart, that I would be most moderate--most correct; and, having reflected a few minutes in order toarrange coherently what I had to say, I told her all the story of mysad childhood. Exhausted by emotion, my language was more subduedthan it generally was when it developed that sad theme; and mindfulof Helen's warnings against the indulgence of resentment, I infusedinto the narrative far less of gall and wormwood than ordinary.Thus restrained and simplified, it sounded more credible: I felt asI went on that Miss Temple fully believed me.

In the course of the tale I had mentioned Mr. Lloyd as having cometo see me after the fit: for I never forgot the, to me, frightfulepisode of the red-room: in detailing which, my excitement wassure, in some degree, to break bounds; for nothing could soften inmy recollection the spasm of agony which clutched my heart when Mrs.Reed spurned my wild supplication for pardon, and locked me a secondtime in the dark and haunted chamber.

I had finished: Miss Temple regarded me a few minutes in silence;she then said -

"I know something of Mr. Lloyd; I shall write to him; if his replyagrees with your statement, you shall be publicly cleared from everyimputation; to me, Jane, you are clear now."

She kissed me, and still keeping me at her side (where I was wellcontented to stand, for I derived a child's pleasure from thecontemplation of her face, her dress, her one or two ornaments, herwhite forehead, her clustered and shining curls, and beaming darkeyes), she proceeded to address Helen Burns.

"How are you to-night, Helen? Have you coughed much to-day?"

"Not quite so much, I think, ma'am."

"And the pain in your chest?"

"It is a little better."

Miss Temple got up, took her hand and examined her pulse; then shereturned to her own seat: as she resumed it, I heard her sigh low.She was pensive a few minutes, then rousing herself, she saidcheerfully -

"But you two are my visitors to-night; I must treat you as such."She rang her bell.

"Barbara," she said to the servant who answered it, "I have not yethad tea; bring the tray and place cups for these two young ladies."

And a tray was soon brought. How pretty, to my eyes, did the chinacups and bright teapot look, placed on the little round table nearthe fire! How fragrant was the steam of the beverage, and the scentof the toast! of which, however, I, to my dismay (for I wasbeginning to be hungry) discerned only a very small portion: MissTemple discerned it too.

"Barbara," said she, "can you not bring a little more bread andbutter? There is not enough for three."

Barbara went out: she returned soon -

"Madam, Mrs. Harden says she has sent up the usual quantity."

Mrs. Harden, be it observed, was the housekeeper: a woman after Mr.Brocklehurst's own heart, made up of equal parts of whalebone andiron.

"Oh, very well!" returned Miss Temple; "we must make it do, Barbara,I suppose." And as the girl withdrew she added, smiling,"Fortunately, I have it in my power to supply deficiencies for thisonce."

Having invited Helen and me to approach the table, and placed beforeeach of us a cup of tea with one delicious but thin morsel of toast,she got up, unlocked a drawer, and taking from it a parcel wrappedin paper, disclosed presently to our eyes a good-sized seed-cake.

"I meant to give each of you some of this to take with you," saidshe, "but as there is so little toast, you must have it now," andshe proceeded to cut slices with a generous hand.

We feasted that evening as on nectar and ambrosia; and not the leastdelight of the entertainment was the smile of gratification withwhich our hostess regarded us, as we satisfied our famishedappetites on the delicate fare she liberally supplied.

Tea over and the tray removed, she again summoned us to the fire; wesat one on each side of her, and now a conversation followed betweenher and Helen, which it was indeed a privilege to be admitted tohear.

Miss Temple had always something of serenity in her air, of state inher mien, of refined propriety in her language, which precludeddeviation into the ardent, the excited, the eager: something whichchastened the pleasure of those who looked on her and listened toher, by a controlling sense of awe; and such was my feeling now:but as to Helen Burns, I was struck with wonder.

The refreshing meal, the brilliant fire, the presence and kindnessof her beloved instructress, or, perhaps, more than all these,something in her own unique mind, had roused her powers within her.They woke, they kindled: first, they glowed in the bright tint ofher cheek, which till this hour I had never seen but pale andbloodless; then they shone in the liquid lustre of her eyes, whichhad suddenly acquired a beauty more singular than that of MissTemple's--a beauty neither of fine colour nor long eyelash, norpencilled brow, but of meaning, of movement, of radiance. Then hersoul sat on her lips, and language flowed, from what source I cannottell. Has a girl of fourteen a heart large enough, vigorous enough,to hold the swelling spring of pure, full, fervid eloquence? Suchwas the characteristic of Helen's discourse on that, to me,memorable evening; her spirit seemed hastening to live within a verybrief span as much as many live during a protracted existence.

They conversed of things I had never heard of; of nations and timespast; of countries far away; of secrets of nature discovered orguessed at: they spoke of books: how many they had read! Whatstores of knowledge they possessed! Then they seemed so familiarwith French names and French authors: but my amazement reached itsclimax when Miss Temple asked Helen if she sometimes snatched amoment to recall the Latin her father had taught her, and taking abook from a shelf, bade her read and construe a page of Virgil; andHelen obeyed, my organ of veneration expanding at every soundingline. She had scarcely finished ere the bell announced bedtime! nodelay could be admitted; Miss Temple embraced us both, saying, asshe drew us to her heart -

"God bless you, my children!"

Helen she held a little longer than me: she let her go morereluctantly; it was Helen her eye followed to the door; it was forher she a second time breathed a sad sigh; for her she wiped a tearfrom her cheek.

On reaching the bedroom, we heard the voice of Miss Scatcherd: shewas examining drawers; she had just pulled out Helen Burns's, andwhen we entered Helen was greeted with a sharp reprimand, and toldthat to-morrow she should have half-a-dozen of untidily foldedarticles pinned to her shoulder.

"My things were indeed in shameful disorder," murmured Helen to me,in a low voice: "I intended to have arranged them, but I forgot."

Next morning, Miss Scatcherd wrote in conspicuous characters on apiece of pasteboard the word "Slattern," and bound it like aphylactery round Helen's large, mild, intelligent, and benign-looking forehead. She wore it till evening, patient, unresentful,regarding it as a deserved punishment. The moment Miss Scatcherdwithdrew after afternoon school, I ran to Helen, tore it off, andthrust it into the fire: the fury of which she was incapable hadbeen burning in my soul all day, and tears, hot and large, hadcontinually been scalding my cheek; for the spectacle of her sadresignation gave me an intolerable pain at the heart.

About a week subsequently to the incidents above narrated, MissTemple, who had written to Mr. Lloyd, received his answer: itappeared that what he said went to corroborate my account. MissTemple, having assembled the whole school, announced that inquiryhad been made into the charges alleged against Jane Eyre, and thatshe was most happy to be able to pronounce her completely clearedfrom every imputation. The teachers then shook hands with me andkissed me, and a murmur of pleasure ran through the ranks of mycompanions.

Thus relieved of a grievous load, I from that hour set to workafresh, resolved to pioneer my way through every difficulty: Itoiled hard, and my success was proportionate to my efforts; mymemory, not naturally tenacious, improved with practice; exercisesharpened my wits; in a few weeks I was promoted to a higher class;in less than two months I was allowed to commence French anddrawing. I learned the first two tenses of the verb ETRE, andsketched my first cottage (whose walls, by-the-bye, outrivalled inslope those of the leaning tower of Pisa), on the same day. Thatnight, on going to bed, I forgot to prepare in imagination theBarmecide supper of hot roast potatoes, or white bread and new milk,with which I was wont to amuse my inward cravings: I feastedinstead on the spectacle of ideal drawings, which I saw in the dark;all the work of my own hands: freely pencilled houses and trees,picturesque rocks and ruins, Cuyp-like groups of cattle, sweetpaintings of butterflies hovering over unblown roses, of birdspicking at ripe cherries, of wren's nests enclosing pearl-like eggs,wreathed about with young ivy sprays. I examined, too, in thought,the possibility of my ever being able to translate currently acertain little French story which Madame Pierrot had that day shownme; nor was that problem solved to my satisfaction ere I fellsweetly asleep.

Well has Solomon said--"Better is a dinner of herbs where love is,than a stalled ox and hatred therewith."

I would not now have exchanged Lowood with all its privations forGateshead and its daily luxuries.