ALL true histories contain instruction; though, in some, thetreasure may be hard to find, and when found, so trivial inquantity, that the dry, shrivelled kernel scarcely compensates forthe trouble of cracking the nut. Whether this be the case with myhistory or not, I am hardly competent to judge. I sometimes thinkit might prove useful to some, and entertaining to others; but theworld may judge for itself. Shielded by my own obscurity, and bythe lapse of years, and a few fictitious names, I do not fear toventure; and will candidly lay before the public what I would notdisclose to the most intimate friend.

My father was a clergyman of the north of England, who wasdeservedly respected by all who knew him; and, in his younger days,lived pretty comfortably on the joint income of a small incumbencyand a snug little property of his own. My mother, who married himagainst the wishes of her friends, was a squire's daughter, and awoman of spirit. In vain it was represented to her, that if shebecame the poor parson's wife, she must relinquish her carriage andher lady's-maid, and all the luxuries and elegancies of affluence;which to her were little less than the necessaries of life. Acarriage and a lady's-maid were great conveniences; but, thankheaven, she had feet to carry her, and hands to minister to her ownnecessities. An elegant house and spacious grounds were not to bedespised; but she would rather live in a cottage with Richard Greythan in a palace with any other man in the world.

Finding arguments of no avail, her father, at length, told thelovers they might marry if they pleased; but, in so doing, hisdaughter would forfeit every fraction of her fortune. He expectedthis would cool the ardour of both; but he was mistaken. My fatherknew too well my mother's superior worth not to be sensible thatshe was a valuable fortune in herself: and if she would butconsent to embellish his humble hearth he should be happy to takeher on any terms; while she, on her part, would rather labour withher own hands than be divided from the man she loved, whosehappiness it would be her joy to make, and who was already one withher in heart and soul. So her fortune went to swell the purse of awiser sister, who had married a rich nabob; and she, to the wonderand compassionate regret of all who knew her, went to bury herselfin the homely village parsonage among the hills of -. And yet, inspite of all this, and in spite of my mother's high spirit and myfather's whims, I believe you might search all England through, andfail to find a happier couple.

Of six children, my sister Mary and myself were the only two thatsurvived the perils of infancy and early childhood. I, being theyounger by five or six years, was always regarded as THE child, andthe pet of the family: father, mother, and sister, all combined tospoil me - not by foolish indulgence, to render me fractious andungovernable, but by ceaseless kindness, to make me too helplessand dependent - too unfit for buffeting with the cares and turmoilsof life.

Mary and I were brought up in the strictest seclusion. My mother,being at once highly accomplished, well informed, and fond ofemployment, took the whole charge of our education on herself, withthe exception of Latin - which my father undertook to teach us - sothat we never even went to school; and, as there was no society inthe neighbourhood, our only intercourse with the world consisted ina stately tea-party, now and then, with the principal farmers andtradespeople of the vicinity (just to avoid being stigmatized astoo proud to consort with our neighbours), and an annual visit toour paternal grandfather's; where himself, our kind grandmamma, amaiden aunt, and two or three elderly ladies and gentlemen, werethe only persons we ever saw. Sometimes our mother would amuse uswith stories and anecdotes of her younger days, which, while theyentertained us amazingly, frequently awoke - in ME, at least - asecret wish to see a little more of the world.

I thought she must have been very happy: but she never seemed toregret past times. My father, however, whose temper was neithertranquil nor cheerful by nature, often unduly vexed himself withthinking of the sacrifices his dear wife had made for him; andtroubled his head with revolving endless schemes for theaugmentation of his little fortune, for her sake and ours. In vainmy mother assured him she was quite satisfied; and if he would butlay by a little for the children, we should all have plenty, bothfor time present and to come: but saving was not my father'sforte. He would not run in debt (at least, my mother took goodcare he should not), but while he had money he must spend it: heliked to see his house comfortable, and his wife and daughters wellclothed, and well attended; and besides, he was charitablydisposed, and liked to give to the poor, according to his means:or, as some might think, beyond them.

At length, however, a kind friend suggested to him a means ofdoubling his private property at one stroke; and further increasingit, hereafter, to an untold amount. This friend was a merchant, aman of enterprising spirit and undoubted talent, who was somewhatstraitened in his mercantile pursuits for want of capital; butgenerously proposed to give my father a fair share of his profits,if he would only entrust him with what he could spare; and hethought he might safely promise that whatever sum the latter choseto put into his hands, it should bring him in cent. per cent. Thesmall patrimony was speedily sold, and the whole of its price wasdeposited in the hands of the friendly merchant; who as promptlyproceeded to ship his cargo, and prepare for his voyage.

My father was delighted, so were we all, with our brighteningprospects. For the present, it is true, we were reduced to thenarrow income of the curacy; but my father seemed to think therewas no necessity for scrupulously restricting our expenditure tothat; so, with a standing bill at Mr. Jackson's, another atSmith's, and a third at Hobson's, we got along even morecomfortably than before: though my mother affirmed we had betterkeep within bounds, for our prospects of wealth were butprecarious, after all; and if my father would only trust everythingto her management, he should never feel himself stinted: but he,for once, was incorrigible.

What happy hours Mary and I have passed while sitting at our workby the fire, or wandering on the heath-clad hills, or idling underthe weeping birch (the only considerable tree in the garden),talking of future happiness to ourselves and our parents, of whatwe would do, and see, and possess; with no firmer foundation forour goodly superstructure than the riches that were expected toflow in upon us from the success of the worthy merchant'sspeculations. Our father was nearly as bad as ourselves; only thathe affected not to be so much in earnest: expressing his brighthopes and sanguine expectations in jests and playful sallies, thatalways struck me as being exceedingly witty and pleasant. Ourmother laughed with delight to see him so hopeful and happy: butstill she feared he was setting his heart too much upon the matter;and once I heard her whisper as she left the room, 'God grant he benot disappointed! I know not how he would bear it.'

Disappointed he was; and bitterly, too. It came like a thunder-clap on us all, that the vessel which contained our fortune hadbeen wrecked, and gone to the bottom with all its stores, togetherwith several of the crew, and the unfortunate merchant himself. Iwas grieved for him; I was grieved for the overthrow of all ourair-built castles: but, with the elasticity of youth, I soonrecovered the shook.

Though riches had charms, poverty had no terrors for aninexperienced girl like me. Indeed, to say the truth, there wassomething exhilarating in the idea of being driven to straits, andthrown upon our own resources. I only wished papa, mamma, and Marywere all of the same mind as myself; and then, instead of lamentingpast calamities we might all cheerfully set to work to remedy them;and the greater the difficulties, the harder our presentprivations, the greater should be our cheerfulness to endure thelatter, and our vigour to contend against the former.

Mary did not lament, but she brooded continually over themisfortune, and sank into a state of dejection from which no effortof mine could rouse her. I could not possibly bring her to regardthe matter on its bright side as I did: and indeed I was sofearful of being charged with childish frivolity, or stupidinsensibility, that I carefully kept most of my bright ideas andcheering notions to myself; well knowing they could not beappreciated.

My mother thought only of consoling my father, and paying our debtsand retrenching our expenditure by every available means; but myfather was completely overwhelmed by the calamity: health,strength, and spirits sank beneath the blow, and he never whollyrecovered them. In vain my mother strove to cheer him, byappealing to his piety, to his courage, to his affection forherself and us. That very affection was his greatest torment: itwas for our sakes he had so ardently longed to increase his fortune- it was our interest that had lent such brightness to his hopes,and that imparted such bitterness to his present distress. He nowtormented himself with remorse at having neglected my mother'sadvice; which would at least have saved him from the additionalburden of debt - he vainly reproached himself for having broughther from the dignity, the ease, the luxury of her former station totoil with him through the cares and toils of poverty. It was galland wormwood to his soul to see that splendid, highly-accomplishedwoman, once so courted and admired, transformed into an activemanaging housewife, with hands and head continually occupied withhousehold labours and household economy. The very willingness withwhich she performed these duties, the cheerfulness with which shebore her reverses, and the kindness which withheld her fromimputing the smallest blame to him, were all perverted by thisingenious self-tormentor into further aggravations of hissufferings. And thus the mind preyed upon the body, and disorderedthe system of the nerves, and they in turn increased the troublesof the mind, till by action and reaction his health was seriouslyimpaired; and not one of us could convince him that the aspect ofour affairs was not half so gloomy, so utterly hopeless, as hismorbid imagination represented it to be.

The useful pony phaeton was sold, together with the stout, well-fedpony - the old favourite that we had fully determined should endits days in peace, and never pass from our hands; the little coach-house and stable were let; the servant boy, and the more efficient(being the more expensive) of the two maid-servants, weredismissed. Our clothes were mended, turned, and darned to theutmost verge of decency; our food, always plain, was now simplifiedto an unprecedented degree - except my father's favourite dishes;our coals and candles were painfully economized - the pair ofcandles reduced to one, and that most sparingly used; the coalscarefully husbanded in the half-empty grate: especially when myfather was out on his parish duties, or confined to bed throughillness - then we sat with our feet on the fender, scraping theperishing embers together from time to time, and occasionallyadding a slight scattering of the dust and fragments of coal, justto keep them alive. As for our carpets, they in time were wornthreadbare, and patched and darned even to a greater extent thanour garments. To save the expense of a gardener, Mary and Iundertook to keep the garden in order; and all the cooking andhousehold work that could not easily be managed by one servant-girl, was done by my mother and sister, with a little occasionalhelp from me: only a little, because, though a woman in my ownestimation, I was still a child in theirs; and my mother, like mostactive, managing women, was not gifted with very active daughters:for this reason - that being so clever and diligent herself, shewas never tempted to trust her affairs to a deputy, but, on thecontrary, was willing to act and think for others as well as fornumber one; and whatever was the business in hand, she was apt tothink that no one could do it so well as herself: so that wheneverI offered to assist her, I received such an answer as - 'No, love,you cannot indeed - there's nothing here you can do. Go and helpyour sister, or get her to take a walk with you - tell her she mustnot sit so much, and stay so constantly in the house as she does -she may well look thin and dejected.'

'Mary, mamma says I'm to help you; or get you to take a walk withme; she says you may well look thin and dejected, if you sit soconstantly in the house.'

'Help me you cannot, Agnes; and I cannot go out with YOU - I havefar too much to do.'

'Then let me help you.'

'You cannot, indeed, dear child. Go and practise your music, orplay with the kitten.'

There was always plenty of sewing on hand; but I had not beentaught to cut out a single garment, and except plain hemming andseaming, there was little I could do, even in that line; for theyboth asserted that it was far easier to do the work themselves thanto prepare it for me: and besides, they liked better to see meprosecuting my studies, or amusing myself - it was time enough forme to sit bending over my work, like a grave matron, when myfavourite little pussy was become a steady old cat. Under suchcircumstances, although I was not many degrees more useful than thekitten, my idleness was not entirely without excuse.

Through all our troubles, I never but once heard my mother complainof our want of money. As summer was coming on she observed to Maryand me, 'What a desirable thing it would be for your papa to spenda few weeks at a watering-place. I am convinced the sea-air andthe change of scene would be of incalculable service to him. Butthen, you see, there's no money,' she added, with a sigh. We bothwished exceedingly that the thing might be done, and lamentedgreatly that it could not. 'Well, well!' said she, 'it's no usecomplaining. Possibly something might be done to further theproject after all. Mary, you are a beautiful drawer. What do yousay to doing a few more pictures in your best style, and gettingthem framed, with the water-coloured drawings you have alreadydone, and trying to dispose of them to some liberal picture-dealer,who has the sense to discern their merits?'

'Mamma, I should be delighted if you think they COULD be sold; andfor anything worth while.'

'It's worth while trying, however, my dear: do you procure thedrawings, and I'll endeavour to find a purchaser.'

'I wish I could do something,' said I.

'You, Agnes! well, who knows? You draw pretty well, too: if youchoose some simple piece for your subject, I daresay you will beable to produce something we shall all be proud to exhibit.'

'But I have another scheme in my head, mamma, and have had long,only I did not like to mention it.'

'Indeed! pray tell us what it is.'

'I should like to be a governess.'

My mother uttered an exclamation of surprise, and laughed. Mysister dropped her work in astonishment, exclaiming, 'YOU agoverness, Agnes! What can you be dreaming of?'

'Well! I don't see anything so VERY extraordinary in it. I do notpretend to be able to instruct great girls; but surely I couldteach little ones: and I should like it so much: I am so fond ofchildren. Do let me, mamma!'

'But, my love, you have not learned to take care of YOURSELF yet:and young children require more judgment and experience to managethan elder ones.'

'But, mamma, I am above eighteen, and quite able to take care ofmyself, and others too. You do not know half the wisdom andprudence I possess, because I have never been tried.'

'Only think,' said Mary, 'what would you do in a house full ofstrangers, without me or mamma to speak and act for you - with aparcel of children, besides yourself, to attend to; and no one tolook to for advice? You would not even know what clothes to puton.'

'You think, because I always do as you bid me, I have no judgmentof my own: but only try me - that is all I ask - and you shall seewhat I can do.'

At that moment my father entered and the subject of our discussionwas explained to him.

'What, my little Agnes a governess!' cried he, and, in spite of hisdejection, he laughed at the idea.

'Yes, papa, don't YOU say anything against it: I should like it somuch; and I am sure I could manage delightfully.'

'But, my darling, we could not spare you.' And a tear glistened inhis eye as he added - 'No, no! afflicted as we are, surely we arenot brought to that pass yet.'

'Oh, no!' said my mother. 'There is no necessity whatever for sucha step; it is merely a whim of her own. So you must hold yourtongue, you naughty girl; for, though you are so ready to leave us,you know very well we cannot part with YOU.'

I was silenced for that day, and for many succeeding ones; butstill I did not wholly relinquish my darling scheme. Mary got herdrawing materials, and steadily set to work. I got mine too; butwhile I drew, I thought of other things. How delightful it wouldbe to be a governess! To go out into the world; to enter upon anew life; to act for myself; to exercise my unused faculties; totry my unknown powers; to earn my own maintenance, and something tocomfort and help my father, mother, and sister, besides exoneratingthem from the provision of my food and clothing; to show papa whathis little Agnes could do; to convince mamma and Mary that I wasnot quite the helpless, thoughtless being they supposed. And then,how charming to be entrusted with the care and education ofchildren! Whatever others said, I felt I was fully competent tothe task: the clear remembrance of my own thoughts in earlychildhood would be a surer guide than the instructions of the mostmature adviser. I had but to turn from my little pupils to myselfat their age, and I should know, at once, how to win theirconfidence and affections: how to waken the contrition of theerring; how to embolden the timid and console the afflicted; how tomake Virtue practicable, Instruction desirable, and Religion lovelyand comprehensible.

- Delightful task!To teach the young idea how to shoot!

To train the tender plants, and watch their buds unfolding day byday!

Influenced by so many inducements, I determined still to persevere;though the fear of displeasing my mother, or distressing myfather's feelings, prevented me from resuming the subject forseveral days. At length, again, I mentioned it to my mother inprivate; and, with some difficulty, got her to promise to assist mewith her endeavours. My father's reluctant consent was nextobtained, and then, though Mary still sighed her disapproval, mydear, kind mother began to look out for a situation for me. Shewrote to my father's relations, and consulted the newspaperadvertisements - her own relations she had long dropped allcommunication with: a formal interchange of occasional letters wasall she had ever had since her marriage, and she would not at anytime have applied to them in a case of this nature. But so longand so entire had been my parents' seclusion from the world, thatmany weeks elapsed before a suitable situation could be procured.At last, to my great joy, it was decreed that I should take chargeof the young family of a certain Mrs. Bloomfield; whom my kind,prim aunt Grey had known in her youth, and asserted to be a verynice woman. Her husband was a retired tradesman, who had realizeda very comfortable fortune; but could not be prevailed upon to givea greater salary than twenty-five pounds to the instructress of hischildren. I, however, was glad to accept this, rather than refusethe situation - which my parents were inclined to think the betterplan.

But some weeks more were yet to be devoted to preparation. Howlong, how tedious those weeks appeared to me! Yet they were happyones in the main - full of bright hopes and ardent expectations.With what peculiar pleasure I assisted at the making of my newclothes, and, subsequently, the packing of my trunks! But therewas a feeling of bitterness mingling with the latter occupationtoo; and when it was done - when all was ready for my departure onthe morrow, and the last night at home approached - a suddenanguish seemed to swell my heart. My dear friends looked so sad,and spoke so very kindly, that I could scarcely keep my eyes fromoverflowing: but I still affected to be gay. I had taken my lastramble with Mary on the moors, my last walk in the garden, andround the house; I had fed, with her, our pet pigeons for the lasttime - the pretty creatures that we had tamed to peck their foodfrom our hands: I had given a farewell stroke to all their silkybacks as they crowded in my lap. I had tenderly kissed my ownpeculiar favourites, the pair of snow-white fantails; I had playedmy last tune on the old familiar piano, and sung my last song topapa: not the last, I hoped, but the last for what appeared to mea very long time. And, perhaps, when I did these things again itwould be with different feelings: circumstances might be changed,and this house might never be my settled home again. My dearlittle friend, the kitten, would certainly be changed: she wasalready growing a fine cat; and when I returned, even for a hastyvisit at Christmas, would, most likely, have forgotten both herplaymate and her merry pranks. I had romped with her for the lasttime; and when I stroked her soft bright fur, while she lay purringherself to sleep in my lap, it was with a feeling of sadness Icould not easily disguise. Then at bed-time, when I retired withMary to our quiet little chamber, where already my drawers werecleared out and my share of the bookcase was empty - and where,hereafter, she would have to sleep alone, in dreary solitude, asshe expressed it - my heart sank more than ever: I felt as if Ihad been selfish and wrong to persist in leaving her; and when Iknelt once more beside our little bed, I prayed for a blessing onher and on my parents more fervently than ever I had done before.To conceal my emotion, I buried my face in my hands, and they werepresently bathed in tears. I perceived, on rising, that she hadbeen crying too: but neither of us spoke; and in silence we betookourselves to our repose, creeping more closely together from theconsciousness that we were to part so soon.

But the morning brought a renewal of hope and spirits. I was todepart early; that the conveyance which took me (a gig, hired fromMr. Smith, the draper, grocer, and tea-dealer of the village) mightreturn the same day. I rose, washed, dressed, swallowed a hastybreakfast, received the fond embraces of my father, mother, andsister, kissed the cat - to the great scandal of Sally, the maid -shook hands with her, mounted the gig, drew my veil over my face,and then, but not till then, burst into a flood of tears. The gigrolled on; I looked back; my dear mother and sister were stillstanding at the door, looking after me, and waving their adieux. Ireturned their salute, and prayed God to bless them from my heart:we descended the hill, and I could see them no more.

'It's a coldish mornin' for you, Miss Agnes,' observed Smith; 'anda darksome 'un too; but we's happen get to yon spot afore therecome much rain to signify.'

'Yes, I hope so,' replied I, as calmly as I could.

'It's comed a good sup last night too.'

'Yes.'

'But this cold wind will happen keep it off.'

'Perhaps it will.'

Here ended our colloquy. We crossed the valley, and began toascend the opposite hill. As we were toiling up, I looked backagain; there was the village spire, and the old grey parsonagebeyond it, basking in a slanting beam of sunshine - it was but asickly ray, but the village and surrounding hills were all insombre shade, and I hailed the wandering beam as a propitious omento my home. With clasped hands I fervently implored a blessing onits inhabitants, and hastily turned away; for I saw the sunshinewas departing; and I carefully avoided another glance, lest Ishould see it in gloomy shadow, like the rest of the landscape.