I ROSE next morning with a feeling of hopeful exhilaration, inspite of the disappointments already experienced; but I found thedressing of Mary Ann was no light matter, as her abundant hair wasto be smeared with pomade, plaited in three long tails, and tiedwith bows of ribbon: a task my unaccustomed fingers found greatdifficulty in performing. She told me her nurse could do it inhalf the time, and, by keeping up a constant fidget of impatience,contrived to render me still longer. When all was done, we wentinto the schoolroom, where I met my other pupil, and chatted withthe two till it was time to go down to breakfast. That meal beingconcluded, and a few civil words having been exchanged with Mrs.Bloomfield, we repaired to the schoolroom again, and commenced thebusiness of the day. I found my pupils very backward, indeed; butTom, though averse to every species of mental exertion, was notwithout abilities. Mary Ann could scarcely read a word, and was socareless and inattentive that I could hardly get on with her atall. However, by dint of great labour and patience, I managed toget something done in the course of the morning, and thenaccompanied my young charge out into the garden and adjacentgrounds, for a little recreation before dinner. There we got alongtolerably together, except that I found they had no notion of goingwith me: I must go with them, wherever they chose to lead me. Imust run, walk, or stand, exactly as it suited their fancy. This,I thought, was reversing the order of things; and I found it doublydisagreeable, as on this as well as subsequent occasions, theyseemed to prefer the dirtiest places and the most dismaloccupations. But there was no remedy; either I must follow them,or keep entirely apart from them, and thus appear neglectful of mycharge. To-day, they manifested a particular attachment to a wellat the bottom of the lawn, where they persisted in dabbling withsticks and pebbles for above half an hour. I was in constant fearthat their mother would see them from the window, and blame me forallowing them thus to draggle their clothes and wet their feet andhands, instead of taking exercise; but no arguments, commands, orentreaties could draw them away. If SHE did not see them, some oneelse did - a gentleman on horseback had entered the gate and wasproceeding up the road; at the distance of a few paces from us hepaused, and calling to the children in a waspish penetrating tone,bade them 'keep out of that water.' 'Miss Grey,' said he, '(Isuppose it IS Miss Grey), I am surprised that you should allow themto dirty their clothes in that manner! Don't you see how MissBloomfield has soiled her frock? and that Master Bloomfield's socksare quite wet? and both of them without gloves? Dear, dear! Letme REQUEST that in future you will keep them DECENT at least!' sosaying, he turned away, and continued his ride up to the house.This was Mr. Bloomfield. I was surprised that he should nominatehis children Master and Miss Bloomfield; and still more so, that heshould speak so uncivilly to me, their governess, and a perfectstranger to himself. Presently the bell rang to summon us in. Idined with the children at one, while he and his lady took theirluncheon at the same table. His conduct there did not greatlyraise him in my estimation. He was a man of ordinary stature -rather below than above - and rather thin than stout, apparentlybetween thirty and forty years of age: he had a large mouth, pale,dingy complexion, milky blue eyes, and hair the colour of a hempencord. There was a roast leg of mutton before him: he helped Mrs.Bloomfield, the children, and me, desiring me to cut up thechildren's meat; then, after twisting about the mutton in variousdirections, and eyeing it from different points, he pronounced itnot fit to be eaten, and called for the cold beef.

'What is the matter with the mutton, my dear?' asked his mate.

'It is quite overdone. Don't you taste, Mrs. Bloomfield, that allthe goodness is roasted out of it? And can't you see that all thatnice, red gravy is completely dried away?'

'Well, I think the BEEF will suit you.'

The beef was set before him, and he began to carve, but with themost rueful expressions of discontent.

'What is the matter with the BEEF, Mr. Bloomfield? I'm sure Ithought it was very nice.'

'And so it WAS very nice. A nicer joint could not be; but it isQUITE spoiled,' replied he, dolefully.

'How so?'

'How so! Why, don't you see how it is cut? Dear - dear! it isquite shocking!'

'They must have cut it wrong in the kitchen, then, for I'm sure Icarved it quite properly here, yesterday.'

'No DOUBT they cut it wrong in the kitchen - the savages! Dear -dear! Did ever any one see such a fine piece of beef so completelyruined? But remember that, in future, when a decent dish leavesthis table, they shall not TOUCH it in the kitchen. Remember THAT,Mrs. Bloomfield!'

Notwithstanding the ruinous state of the beef, the gentlemanmanaged to out himself some delicate slices, part of which he atein silence. When he next spoke, it was, in a less querulous tone,to ask what there was for dinner.

'Turkey and grouse,' was the concise reply.

'And what besides?'

'Fish.'

'What kind of fish?'

'I don't know.'

'YOU DON'T KNOW?' cried he, looking solemnly up from his plate, andsuspending his knife and fork in astonishment.

'No. I told the cook to get some fish - I did not particularizewhat.'

'Well, that beats everything! A lady professes to keep house, anddoesn't even know what fish is for dinner! professes to order fish,and doesn't specify what!'

'Perhaps, Mr. Bloomfield, you will order dinner yourself infuture.'

Nothing more was said; and I was very glad to get out of the roomwith my pupils; for I never felt so ashamed and uncomfortable in mylife for anything that was not my own fault.

In the afternoon we applied to lessons again: then went out again;then had tea in the schoolroom; then I dressed Mary Ann fordessert; and when she and her brother had gone down to the dining-room, I took the opportunity of beginning a letter to my dearfriends at home: but the children came up before I had halfcompleted it. At seven I had to put Mary Ann to bed; then I playedwith Tom till eight, when he, too, went; and I finished my letterand unpacked my clothes, which I had hitherto found no opportunityfor doing, and, finally, went to bed myself.

But this is a very favourable specimen of a day's proceedings.

My task of instruction and surveillance, instead of becoming easieras my charges and I got better accustomed to each other, becamemore arduous as their characters unfolded. The name of governess,I soon found, was a mere mockery as applied to me: my pupils hadno more notion of obedience than a wild, unbroken colt. Thehabitual fear of their father's peevish temper, and the dread ofthe punishments he was wont to inflict when irritated, kept themgenerally within bounds in his immediate presence. The girls, too,had some fear of their mother's anger; and the boy mightoccasionally be bribed to do as she bid him by the hope of reward;but I had no rewards to offer; and as for punishments, I was givento understand, the parents reserved that privilege to themselves;and yet they expected me to keep my pupils in order. Otherchildren might be guided by the fear of anger and the desire ofapprobation; but neither the one nor the other had any effect uponthese.

Master Tom, not content with refusing to be ruled, must needs setup as a ruler, and manifested a determination to keep, not only hissisters, but his governess in order, by violent manual and pedalapplications; and, as he was a tall, strong boy of his years, thisoccasioned no trifling inconvenience. A few sound boxes on theear, on such occasions, might have settled the matter easilyenough: but as, in that case, he might make up some story to hismother which she would be sure to believe, as she had such unshakenfaith in his veracity - though I had already discovered it to be byno means unimpeachable - I determined to refrain from striking him,even in self-defence; and, in his most violent moods, my onlyresource was to throw him on his back and hold his hands and feettill the frenzy was somewhat abated. To the difficulty ofpreventing him from doing what he ought not, was added that offorcing him to do what he ought. Often he would positively refuseto learn, or to repeat his lessons, or even to look at his book.Here, again, a good birch rod might have been serviceable; but, asmy powers were so limited, I must make the best use of what I had.

As there were no settled hours for study and play, I resolved togive my pupils a certain task, which, with moderate attention, theycould perform in a short time; and till this was done, howeverweary I was, or however perverse they might be, nothing short ofparental interference should induce me to suffer them to leave theschoolroom, even if I should sit with my chair against the door tokeep them in. Patience, Firmness, and Perseverance were my onlyweapons; and these I resolved to use to the utmost. I determinedalways strictly to fulfil the threats and promises I made; and, tothat end, I must be cautious to threaten and promise nothing that Icould not perform. Then, I would carefully refrain from alluseless irritability and indulgence of my own ill-temper: whenthey behaved tolerably, I would be as kind and obliging as it wasin my power to be, in order to make the widest possible distinctionbetween good and bad conduct; I would reason with them, too, in thesimplest and most effective manner. When I reproved them, orrefused to gratify their wishes, after a glaring fault, it shouldbe more in sorrow than in anger: their little hymns and prayers Iwould make plain and clear to their understanding; when they saidtheir prayers at night and asked pardon for their offences, I wouldremind them of the sins of the past day, solemnly, but in perfectkindness, to avoid raising a spirit of opposition; penitentialhymns should be said by the naughty, cheerful ones by thecomparatively good; and every kind of instruction I would convey tothem, as much as possible, by entertaining discourse - apparentlywith no other object than their present amusement in view.

By these means I hoped in time both to benefit the children and togain the approbation of their parents; and also to convince myfriends at home that I was not so wanting in skill and prudence asthey supposed. I knew the difficulties I had to contend with weregreat; but I knew (at least I believed) unremitting patience andperseverance could overcome them; and night and morning I imploredDivine assistance to this end. But either the children were soincorrigible, the parents so unreasonable, or myself so mistaken inmy views, or so unable to carry them out, that my best intentionsand most strenuous efforts seemed productive of no better resultthan sport to the children, dissatisfaction to their parents, andtorment to myself.

The task of instruction was as arduous for the body as the mind. Ihad to run after my pupils to catch them, to carry or drag them tothe table, and often forcibly to hold them there till the lessonwas done. Tom I frequently put into a corner, seating myselfbefore him in a chair, with a book which contained the little taskthat must be said or read, before he was released, in my hand. Hewas not strong enough to push both me and the chair away, so hewould stand twisting his body and face into the most grotesque andsingular contortions - laughable, no doubt, to an unconcernedspectator, but not to me - and uttering loud yells and dolefuloutcries, intended to represent weeping but wholly without theaccompaniment of tears. I knew this was done solely for thepurpose of annoying me; and, therefore, however I might inwardlytremble with impatience and irritation, I manfully strove tosuppress all visible signs of molestation, and affected to sit withcalm indifference, waiting till it should please him to cease thispastime, and prepare for a run in the garden, by casting his eye onthe book and reading or repeating the few words he was required tosay. Sometimes he was determined to do his writing badly; and Ihad to hold his hand to prevent him from purposely blotting ordisfiguring the paper. Frequently I threatened that, if he did notdo better, he should have another line: then he would stubbornlyrefuse to write this line; and I, to save my word, had finally toresort to the expedient of holding his fingers upon the pen, andforcibly drawing his hand up and down, till, in spite of hisresistance, the line was in some sort completed.

Yet Tom was by no means the most unmanageable of my pupils:sometimes, to my great joy, he would have the sense to see that hiswisest policy was to finish his tasks, and go out and amuse himselftill I and his sisters came to join him; which frequently was notat all, for Mary Ann seldom followed his example in thisparticular: she apparently preferred rolling on the floor to anyother amusement: down she would drop like a leaden weight; andwhen I, with great difficulty, had succeeded in rooting her thence,I had still to hold her up with one arm, while with the other Iheld the book from which she was to read or spell her lesson. Asthe dead weight of the big girl of six became too heavy for one armto bear, I transferred it to the other; or, if both were weary ofthe burden, I carried her into a corner, and told her she mightcome out when she should find the use of her feet, and stand up:but she generally preferred lying there like a log till dinner orteatime, when, as I could not deprive her of her meals, she must beliberated, and would come crawling out with a grin of triumph onher round, red face. Often she would stubbornly refuse topronounce some particular word in her lesson; and now I regret thelost labour I have had in striving to conquer her obstinacy. If Ihad passed it over as a matter of no consequence, it would havebeen better for both parties, than vainly striving to overcome itas I did; but I thought it my absolute duty to crush this vicioustendency in the bud: and so it was, if I could have done it; andhad my powers been less limited, I might have enforced obedience;but, as it was, it was a trial of strength between her and me, inwhich she generally came off victorious; and every victory servedto encourage and strengthen her for a future contest. In vain Iargued, coaxed, entreated, threatened, scolded; in vain I kept herin from play, or, if obliged to take her out, refused to play withher, or to speak kindly or have anything to do with her; in vain Itried to set before her the advantages of doing as she was bid, andbeing loved, and kindly treated in consequence, and thedisadvantages of persisting in her absurd perversity. Sometimes,when she would ask me to do something for her, I would answer, -'Yes, I will, Mary Ann, if you will only say that word. Come!you'd better say it at once, and have no more trouble about it.'

'No.'

'Then, of course, I can do nothing for you.'

With me, at her age, or under, neglect and disgrace were the mostdreadful of punishments; but on her they made no impression.Sometimes, exasperated to the utmost pitch, I would shake herviolently by the shoulder, or pull her long hair, or put her in thecorner; for which she punished me with loud, shrill, piercingscreams, that went through my head like a knife. She knew I hatedthis, and when she had shrieked her utmost, would look into my facewith an air of vindictive satisfaction, exclaiming, - 'NOW, then!THAT'S for you!' and then shriek again and again, till I was forcedto stop my ears. Often these dreadful cries would bring Mrs.Bloomfield up to inquire what was the matter?

'Mary Ann is a naughty girl, ma'am.'

'But what are these shocking screams?'

'She is screaming in a passion.'

'I never heard such a dreadful noise! You might be killing her.Why is she not out with her brother?'

'I cannot get her to finish her lessons.'

'But Mary Ann must be a GOOD girl, and finish her lessons.' Thiswas blandly spoken to the child. 'And I hope I shall NEVER hearsuch terrible cries again!'

And fixing her cold, stony eyes upon me with a look that could notbe mistaken, she would shut the door, and walk away. Sometimes Iwould try to take the little obstinate creature by surprise, andcasually ask her the word while she was thinking of something else;frequently she would begin to say it, and then suddenly cheekherself, with a provoking look that seemed to say, 'Ah! I'm toosharp for you; you shan't trick it out of me, either.'

On another occasion, I pretended to forget the whole affair; andtalked and played with her as usual, till night, when I put her tobed; then bending over her, while she lay all smiles and goodhumour, just before departing, I said, as cheerfully and kindly asbefore - 'Now, Mary Ann, just tell me that word before I kiss yougood-night. You are a good girl now, and, of course, you will sayit.'

'No, I won't.'

'Then I can't kiss you.'

'Well, I don't care.'

In vain I expressed my sorrow; in vain I lingered for some symptomof contrition; she really 'didn't care,' and I left her alone, andin darkness, wondering most of all at this last proof of insensatestubbornness. In MY childhood I could not imagine a moreafflictive punishment than for my mother to refuse to kiss me atnight: the very idea was terrible. More than the idea I neverfelt, for, happily, I never committed a fault that was deemedworthy of such penalty; but once I remember, for some transgressionof my sister's, our mother thought proper to inflict it upon her:what SHE felt, I cannot tell; but my sympathetic tears andsuffering for her sake I shall not soon forget.

Another troublesome trait in Mary Ann was her incorrigiblepropensity to keep running into the nursery, to play with herlittle sisters and the nurse. This was natural enough, but, as itwas against her mother's express desire, I, of course, forbade herto do so, and did my utmost to keep her with me; but that onlyincreased her relish for the nursery, and the more I strove to keepher out of it, the oftener she went, and the longer she stayed, tothe great dissatisfaction of Mrs. Bloomfield, who, I well knew,would impute all the blame of the matter to me. Another of mytrials was the dressing in the morning: at one time she would notbe washed; at another she would not be dressed, unless she mightwear some particular frock, that I knew her mother would not likeher to have; at another she would scream and run away if Iattempted to touch her hair. So that, frequently, when, after muchtrouble and toil, I had, at length, succeeded in bringing her down,the breakfast was nearly half over; and black looks from 'mamma,'and testy observations from 'papa,' spoken at me, if not to me,were sure to be my meed: for few things irritated the latter somuch as want of punctuality at meal times. Then, among the minorannoyances, was my inability to satisfy Mrs. Bloomfield with herdaughter's dress; and the child's hair 'was never fit to be seen.'Sometimes, as a powerful reproach to me, she would perform theoffice of tire woman herself, and then complain bitterly of thetrouble it gave her.

When little Fanny came into the schoolroom, I hoped she would bemild and inoffensive, at least; but a few days, if not a few hours,sufficed to destroy the illusion: I found her a mischievous,intractable little creature, given up to falsehood and deception,young as she was, and alarmingly fond of exercising her twofavourite weapons of offence and defence: that of spitting in thefaces of those who incurred her displeasure, and bellowing like abull when her unreasonable desires were not gratified. As she,generally, was pretty quiet in her parents' presence, and they wereimpressed with the notion of her being a remarkably gentle child,her falsehoods were readily believed, and her loud uproars led themto suspect harsh and injudicious treatment on my part; and when, atlength, her bad disposition became manifest even to theirprejudiced eyes, I felt that the whole was attributed to me.

'What a naughty girl Fanny is getting!' Mrs. Bloomfield would sayto her spouse. 'Don't you observe, my dear, how she is alteredsince she entered the schoolroom? She will soon be as bad as theother two; and, I am sorry to say, they have quite deteriorated oflate.'

'You may say that,' was the answer. 'I've been thinking that samemyself. I thought when we got them a governess they'd improve;but, instead of that, they get worse and worse: I don't know howit is with their learning, but their habits, I know, make no sortof improvement; they get rougher, and dirtier, and more unseemlyevery day.'

I knew this was all pointed at me; and these, and all similarinnuendoes, affected me far more deeply than any open accusationswould have done; for against the latter I should have been rousedto speak in my own defence: now I judged it my wisest plan tosubdue every resentful impulse, suppress every sensitive shrinking,and go on perseveringly, doing my best; for, irksome as mysituation was, I earnestly wished to retain it. I thought, if Icould struggle on with unremitting firmness and integrity, thechildren would in time become more humanized: every month wouldcontribute to make them some little wiser, and, consequently, moremanageable; for a child of nine or ten as frantic and ungovernableas these at six and seven would be a maniac.

I flattered myself I was benefiting my parents and sister by mycontinuance here; for small as the salary was, I still was earningsomething, and with strict economy I could easily manage to havesomething to spare for them, if they would favour me by taking it.Then it was by my own will that I had got the place: I had broughtall this tribulation on myself, and I was determined to bear it;nay, more than that, I did not even regret the step I had taken. Ilonged to show my friends that, even now, I was competent toundertake the charge, and able to acquit myself honourably to theend; and if ever I felt it degrading to submit so quietly, orintolerable to toil so constantly, I would turn towards my home,and say within myself -

They may crush, but they shall not subdue me!'Tis of thee that I think, not of them.

About Christmas I was allowed to visit home; but my holiday wasonly of a fortnight's duration: 'For,' said Mrs. Bloomfield, 'Ithought, as you had seen your friends so lately, you would not carefor a longer stay.' I left her to think so still: but she littleknew how long, how wearisome those fourteen weeks of absence hadbeen to me; how intensely I had longed for my holidays, how greatlyI was disappointed at their curtailment. Yet she was not to blamein this. I had never told her my feelings, and she could not beexpected to divine them; I had not been with her a full term, andshe was justified in not allowing me a full vacation.