Chapter 6

When they saw that the intruders on their mountainwere only two little girls, the Flatheads grunted withsatisfaction and drew back, permitting them to see whatthe mountain top looked like. It was shaped like asaucer, so that the houses and other buildings -- allmade of rocks -- could not be seen over the edge byanyone standing in the plain below.

But now a big fat Flathead stood before the girls andin a gruff voice demanded:

"What are you doing here? Have the Skeezers sent youto spy upon us?"

"I am Princess Ozma, Ruler of all the Land of Oz."

"Well, I've never heard of the Land of Oz, so you maybe what you claim," returned the Flathead.

"This is the Land of Oz -- part of it, anyway,"exclaimed Dorothy. "So Princess Ozma rules you Flatheadpeople, as well as all the other people in Oz."

The man laughed, and all the others who stood aroundlaughed, too. Some one in the crowd called:

"She'd better not tell the Supreme Dictator aboutruling the Flatheads. Eh, friends?"

"No, indeed!" they all answered in positive tones.

"Who is your Supreme Dictator?" answered Ozma.

"I think I'll let him tell you that himself,"answered the man who had first spoken. "You have brokenour laws by coming here; and whoever you are theSupreme Dictator must fix your punishment. Come alongwith me."

He started down a path and Ozma and Dorothy followedhim without protest, as they wanted to see the mostimportant person in this queer country. The houses theypassed seemed pleasant enough and each had a littleyard in which were flowers and vegetables. Walls ofrock separated the dwellings, and all the paths werepaved with smooth slabs of rock. This seemed their onlybuilding material and they utilized it cleverly forevery purpose.

Directly in the center of the great saucer stood alarger building which the Flathead informed the girlswas the palace of the Supreme Dictator. He led themthrough an entrance hall into a big reception room,where they sat upon stone benches and awaited thecoming of the Dictator. Pretty soon he entered fromanother room -- a rather lean and rather old Flathead,dressed much like the others of this strange race, andonly distinguished from them by the sly and cunningexpression of his face. He kept his eyes half closedand looked through the slits of them at Ozma andDorothy, who rose to receive him.

"Are you the Supreme Dictator of the Flatheads?"inquired Ozma.

"Yes, that's me," he said, rubbing his hands slowlytogether. "My word is law. I'm the head of theFlatheads on this flat headland."

"I am Princess Ozma of Oz, and I have come from theEmerald City to --"

"Stop a minute," interrupted the Dictator, and turnedto the man who had brought the girls there. "Go away,Dictator Felo Flathead!" he commanded. "Return to yourduty and guard the Stairway. I will look after thesestrangers." The man bowed and departed, and Dorothyasked wonderingly:

"Is he a Dictator, too?"

"Of course," was the answer. "Everybody here is adictator of something or other. They're all officeholders. That's what keeps them contented. But I'm theSupreme Dictator of all, and I'm elected once a year.This is a democracy, you know, where the people areallowed to vote for their rulers. A good many otherswould like to be Supreme Dictator, but as I made a lawthat I am always to count the votes myself, I am alwayselected."

"What is your name?" asked Ozma.

"I am called the Su-dic, which is short for SupremeDictator. I sent that man away because the moment youmentioned Ozma of Oz, and the Emerald City, I knew whoyou are. I suppose I'm the only Flathead that everheard of you, but that's because I have more brainsthan the rest."

Dorothy was staring hard at the Su-dic.

"I don't see how you can have any brains at all," sheremarked, "because the part of your head is gone wherebrains are kept."

"I don't blame you for thinking that," he said. "Oncethe Flatheads had no brains because, as you say, thereis no upper part to their heads, to hold brains. Butlong, long ago a band of fairies flew over this countryand made it all a fairyland, and when they came to theFlatheads the fairies were sorry to find them all verystupid and quite unable to think. So, as there was nogood place in their bodies in which to put brains theFairy Queen gave each one of us a nice can of brains tocarry in his pocket and that made us just asintelligent as other people. See," he continued, "hereis one of the cans of brains the fairies gave us." Hetook from a pocket a bright tin can having a pretty redlabel on it which said: Concentrated Brains, ExtraQuality."

"And does every Flathead have the same kind ofbrains?" asked Dorothy.

"Yes, they're all alike. Here's another can." Fromanother pocket he produced a second can of brains.

"Did the fairies give you a double supply?" inquiredDorothy.

"No, but one of the Flatheads thought he wanted to bethe Su-dic and tried to get my people to rebel againstme, so I punished him by taking away his brains. Oneday my wife scolded me severely, so I took away her canof brains. She didn't like that and went out and robbedseveral women of their brains. Then I made a law thatif anyone stole another's brains, or even tried toborrow them, he would forfeit his own brains to the Su-dic. So each one is content with his own canned brainsand my wife and I are the only ones on the mountainwith more than one can. I have three cans and thatmakes me very clever -- so clever that I'm a goodSorcerer, if I do say it myself. My poor wife had fourcans of brains and became a remarkable witch, but alas!that was before those terrible enemies, the Skeezers,transformed her into a Golden Pig."

"Good gracious!" cried Dorothy; "is your wife reallya Golden Pig?"

"She is. The Skeezers did it and so I have declaredwar on them. In revenge for making my wife a Pig Iintend to ruin their Magic Island and make the Skeezersthe slaves of the Flatheads!"

The Su-dic was very angry now; his eyes flashed andhis face took on a wicked and fierce expression. ButOzma said to him, very sweetly and in a friendly voice:

"I am sorry to hear this. Will you please tell memore about your troubles with the Skeezers? Thenperhaps I can help you."

She was only a girl, but there was dignity in herpose and speech which impressed the Su-dic.

"If you are really Princess Ozma of Oz," the Flatheadsaid, "you are one of that band of fairies who, underQueen Lurline, made all Oz a Fairyland. I have heardthat Lurline left one of her own fairies to rule Oz,and gave the fairy the name of Ozma."

"If you knew this why did you not come to me at theEmerald City and tender me your loyalty and obedience?"asked the Ruler of Oz.

"Well, I only learned the fact lately, and I've beentoo busy to leave home," he explained, looking at thefloor instead of into Ozma's eyes. She knew he hadspoken a falsehood, but only said:

"Why did you quarrel with the Skeezers?"

"It was this way," began the Su-dic, glad to changethe subject. "We Flatheads love fish, and as we have nofish on this mountain we would sometimes go to the Lakeof the Skeezers to catch fish. This made the Skeezersangry, for they declared the fish in their lakebelonged to them and were under their protection andthey forbade us to catch them. That was very mean andunfriendly in the Skeezers, you must admit, and when wepaid no attention to their orders they set a guard onthe shore of the lake to prevent our fishing.

"Now, my wife, Rora Flathead, having four cans ofbrains, had become a wonderful witch, and fish beingbrain food, she loved to eat fish better than any oneof us. So she vowed she would destroy every fish in thelake, unless the Skeezers let us catch what we wanted.They defied us, so Rora prepared a kettleful of magicpoison and went down to the lake one night to dump itall in the water and poison the fish. It was a cleveridea, quite worthy of my dear wife, but the SkeezerQueen -- a young lady named Coo-ee-oh -- hid on thebank of the lake and taking Rora unawares, transformedher into a Golden Pig. The poison was spilled on theground and wicked Queen Coo-ee-oh, not content with hercruel transformation, even took away my wife's fourcans of brains, so she is now a common grunting pigwithout even brains enough to know her own name."

"Then," said Ozma thoughtfully, "the Queen of theSkeezers must be a Sorceress."

"Yes," said the Su-dic, "but she doesn't know muchmagic, after all. She is not as powerful as RoraFlathead was, nor half as powerful as I am now, asQueen Coo-ee-oh will discover when we fight our greatbattle and destroy her."

"The Golden Pig can't be a witch any more, ofcourse," observed Dorothy.

"No; even had Queen Coo-ee-oh left her the four cansof brains, poor Rora, in a pig's shape, couldn't do anywitchcraft. A witch has to use her fingers, and a pighas only cloven hoofs."

"It seems a sad story," was Ozma's comment, "and allthe trouble arose because the Flatheads wanted fishthat did not belong to them."

"As for that," said the Su-dic, again angry, "I madea law that any of my people could catch fish in theLake of the Skeezers, whenever they wanted to. So thetrouble was through the Skeezers defying my law."

"You can only make laws to govern your own people,"asserted Ozma sternly. "I, alone, am empowered to makelaws that must be obeyed by all the peoples of Oz."

"Pooh!" cried the Su-dic scornfully. "You can't makeme obey your laws, I assure you. I know the extent ofyour powers, Princess Ozma of Oz, and I know that I ammore powerful than you are. To prove it I shall keepyou and your companion prisoners in this mountain untilafter we have fought and conquered the Skeezers. Then,if you promise to be good, I may let you go homeagain."

Dorothy was amazed by this effrontery and defiance ofthe beautiful girl Ruler of Oz, whom all until now hadobeyed without question. But Ozma, still unruffled anddignified, looked at the Su-dic and said:

"You did not mean that. You are angry and speakunwisely, without reflection. I came here from mypalace in the Emerald City to prevent war and to makepeace between you and the Skeezers. I do not approve ofQueen Coo-ee-oh's action in transforming your wife Rorainto a pig, nor do I approve of Rora's cruel attempt topoison the fishes in the lake. No one has the right towork magic in my dominions without my consent, so theFlatheads and the Skeezers have both broken my laws --which must be obeyed."

"If you want to make peace," said the Su-dic, "makethe Skeezers restore my wife to her proper form andgive back her four cans of brains. Also make them agreeto allow us to catch fish in their lake."

"No," returned Ozma, "I will not do that, for itwould be unjust. I will have the Golden Pig againtransformed into your wife Rora, and give her one canof brains, but the other three cans must be restored tothose she robbed. Neither may you catch fish in theLake of the Skeezers, for it is their lake and the fishbelong to them. This arrangement is just and honorable,and you must agree to it."

"Never!" cried the Su-dic. Just then a pig camerunning into the room, uttering dismal grunts. It wasmade of solid gold, with joints at the bends of thelegs and in the neck and jaws. The Golden Pig's eyeswere rubies, and its teeth were polished ivory.

"There!" said the Su-dic, "gaze on the evil work ofQueen Coo-ee-oh, and then say if you can prevent mymaking war on the Skeezers. That grunting beast wasonce my wife -- the most beautiful Flathead on ourmountain and a skillful witch. Now look at her!"

"Fight the Skeezers, fight the Skeezers, fight theSkeezers!" grunted the Golden Pig.

"I will fight the Skeezers," exclaimed the Flatheadchief, "and if a dozen Ozmas of Oz forbade me I wouldfight just the same."

"Not if I can prevent it!" asserted Ozma.

"You can't prevent it. But since you threaten me,I'll have you confined in the bronze prison until thewar is over," said the Su-dic. He whistled and fourstout Flatheads, armed with axes and spears, enteredthe room and saluted him. Turning to the men he said:"Take these two girls, bind them with wire ropes andcast them into the bronze prison."

The four men bowed low and one of them asked:

"Where are the two girls, most noble Su-dic?"

The Su-dic turned to where Ozma and Dorothy had stoodbut they had vanished!