`You can't think how glad I am to see you again, you dear oldthing!' said the Duchess, as she tucked her arm affectionatelyinto Alice's, and they walked off together.

Alice was very glad to find her in such a pleasant temper, andthought to herself that perhaps it was only the pepper that hadmade her so savage when they met in the kitchen.

`When I'M a Duchess,' she said to herself, (not in a veryhopeful tone though), `I won't have any pepper in my kitchen ATALL. Soup does very well without--Maybe it's always pepper thatmakes people hot-tempered,' she went on, very much pleased athaving found out a new kind of rule, `and vinegar that makes themsour--and camomile that makes them bitter--and--and barley-sugarand such things that make children sweet-tempered. I only wishpeople knew that: then they wouldn't be so stingy about it, youknow--'

She had quite forgotten the Duchess by this time, and was alittle startled when she heard her voice close to her ear.`You're thinking about something, my dear, and that makes youforget to talk. I can't tell you just now what the moral of thatis, but I shall remember it in a bit.'

`Perhaps it hasn't one,' Alice ventured to remark.

`Tut, tut, child!' said the Duchess. `Everything's got amoral, if only you can find it.' And she squeezed herself upcloser to Alice's side as she spoke.

Alice did not much like keeping so close to her: first,because the Duchess was VERY ugly; and secondly, because she wasexactly the right height to rest her chin upon Alice's shoulder,and it was an uncomfortably sharp chin. However, she did notlike to be rude, so she bore it as well as she could.

`The game's going on rather better now,' she said, by way ofkeeping up the conversation a little.

`'Tis so,' said the Duchess: `and the moral of that is--"Oh,'tis love, 'tis love, that makes the world go round!"'

`Somebody said,' Alice whispered, `that it's done by everybodyminding their own business!'

`Ah, well! It means much the same thing,' said the Duchess,digging her sharp little chin into Alice's shoulder as she added,`and the moral of THAT is--"Take care of the sense, and thesounds will take care of themselves."'

`How fond she is of finding morals in things!' Alice thought toherself.

`I dare say you're wondering why I don't put my arm round yourwaist,' the Duchess said after a pause: `the reason is, that I'mdoubtful about the temper of your flamingo. Shall I try theexperiment?'

`HE might bite,' Alice cautiously replied, not feeling at allanxious to have the experiment tried.

`Very true,' said the Duchess: `flamingoes and mustard bothbite. And the moral of that is--"Birds of a feather flocktogether."'

`Only mustard isn't a bird,' Alice remarked.

`Right, as usual,' said the Duchess: `what a clear way youhave of putting things!'

`It's a mineral, I THINK,' said Alice.

`Of course it is,' said the Duchess, who seemed ready to agreeto everything that Alice said; `there's a large mustard-mine nearhere. And the moral of that is--"The more there is of mine, theless there is of yours."'

`Oh, I know!' exclaimed Alice, who had not attended to thislast remark, `it's a vegetable. It doesn't look like one, but itis.'

`I quite agree with you,' said the Duchess; `and the moral ofthat is--"Be what you would seem to be"--or if you'd like it putmore simply--"Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise thanwhat it might appear to others that what you were or might havebeen was not otherwise than what you had been would have appearedto them to be otherwise."'

`I think I should understand that better,' Alice said verypolitely, `if I had it written down: but I can't quite follow itas you say it.'

`That's nothing to what I could say if I chose,' the Duchessreplied, in a pleased tone.

`Pray don't trouble yourself to say it any longer than that,'said Alice.

`Oh, don't talk about trouble!' said the Duchess. `I make youa present of everything I've said as yet.'

`A cheap sort of present!' thought Alice. `I'm glad they don'tgive birthday presents like that!' But she did not venture tosay it out loud.

`Thinking again?' the Duchess asked, with another dig of hersharp little chin.

`I've a right to think,' said Alice sharply, for she wasbeginning to feel a little worried.

`Just about as much right,' said the Duchess, `as pigs have tofly; and the m--'

But here, to Alice's great surprise, the Duchess's voice diedaway, even in the middle of her favourite word `moral,' and thearm that was linked into hers began to tremble. Alice looked up,and there stood the Queen in front of them, with her arms folded,frowning like a thunderstorm.

`A fine day, your Majesty!' the Duchess began in a low, weakvoice.

`Now, I give you fair warning,' shouted the Queen, stamping onthe ground as she spoke; `either you or your head must be off,and that in about half no time! Take your choice!'

The Duchess took her choice, and was gone in a moment.

`Let's go on with the game,' the Queen said to Alice; and Alicewas too much frightened to say a word, but slowly followed herback to the croquet-ground.

The other guests had taken advantage of the Queen's absence,and were resting in the shade: however, the moment they saw her,they hurried back to the game, the Queen merely remarking that amoment's delay would cost them their lives.

All the time they were playing the Queen never left offquarrelling with the other players, and shouting `Off with hishead!' or `Off with her head!' Those whom she sentenced weretaken into custody by the soldiers, who of course had to leaveoff being arches to do this, so that by the end of half an houror so there were no arches left, and all the players, except theKing, the Queen, and Alice, were in custody and under sentence ofexecution.

Then the Queen left off, quite out of breath, and said toAlice, `Have you seen the Mock Turtle yet?'

`No,' said Alice. `I don't even know what a Mock Turtle is.'

`It's the thing Mock Turtle Soup is made from,' said the Queen.

`I never saw one, or heard of one,' said Alice.

`Come on, then,' said the Queen, `and he shall tell you hishistory,'

As they walked off together, Alice heard the King say in a lowvoice, to the company generally, `You are all pardoned.' `Come,THAT'S a good thing!' she said to herself, for she had felt quiteunhappy at the number of executions the Queen had ordered.

They very soon came upon a Gryphon, lying fast asleep in thesun. (IF you don't know what a Gryphon is, look at the picture.)`Up, lazy thing!' said the Queen, `and take this young lady tosee the Mock Turtle, and to hear his history. I must go back andsee after some executions I have ordered'; and she walked off,leaving Alice alone with the Gryphon. Alice did not quite likethe look of the creature, but on the whole she thought it wouldbe quite as safe to stay with it as to go after that savageQueen: so she waited.

The Gryphon sat up and rubbed its eyes: then it watched theQueen till she was out of sight: then it chuckled. `What fun!'said the Gryphon, half to itself, half to Alice.

`What IS the fun?' said Alice.

`Why, SHE,' said the Gryphon. `It's all her fancy, that: theynever executes nobody, you know. Come on!'

`Everybody says "come on!" here,' thought Alice, as she wentslowly after it: `I never was so ordered about in all my life,never!'

They had not gone far before they saw the Mock Turtle in thedistance, sitting sad and lonely on a little ledge of rock, and,as they came nearer, Alice could hear him sighing as if his heartwould break. She pitied him deeply. `What is his sorrow?' sheasked the Gryphon, and the Gryphon answered, very nearly in thesame words as before, `It's all his fancy, that: he hasn't gotno sorrow, you know. Come on!'

So they went up to the Mock Turtle, who looked at them withlarge eyes full of tears, but said nothing.

`This here young lady,' said the Gryphon, `she wants for toknow your history, she do.'

`I'll tell it her,' said the Mock Turtle in a deep, hollowtone: `sit down, both of you, and don't speak a word till I'vefinished.'

So they sat down, and nobody spoke for some minutes. Alicethought to herself, `I don't see how he can EVEN finish, if hedoesn't begin.' But she waited patiently.

`Once,' said the Mock Turtle at last, with a deep sigh, `I wasa real Turtle.'

These words were followed by a very long silence, broken onlyby an occasional exclamation of `Hjckrrh!' from the Gryphon, andthe constant heavy sobbing of the Mock Turtle. Alice was verynearly getting up and saying, `Thank you, sir, for yourinteresting story,' but she could not help thinking there MUST bemore to come, so she sat still and said nothing.

`When we were little,' the Mock Turtle went on at last, morecalmly, though still sobbing a little now and then, `we went toschool in the sea. The master was an old Turtle--we used to callhim Tortoise--'

`Why did you call him Tortoise, if he wasn't one?' Alice asked.

`We called him Tortoise because he taught us,' said the MockTurtle angrily: `really you are very dull!'

`You ought to be ashamed of yourself for asking such a simplequestion,' added the Gryphon; and then they both sat silent andlooked at poor Alice, who felt ready to sink into the earth. Atlast the Gryphon said to the Mock Turtle, `Drive on, old fellow!Don't be all day about it!' and he went on in these words:

`Yes, we went to school in the sea, though you mayn't believeit--'

`I never said I didn't!' interrupted Alice.

`You did,' said the Mock Turtle.

`Hold your tongue!' added the Gryphon, before Alice could speakagain. The Mock Turtle went on.

`We had the best of educations--in fact, we went to schoolevery day--'

`I'VE been to a day-school, too,' said Alice; `you needn't beso proud as all that.'

`With extras?' asked the Mock Turtle a little anxiously.

`Yes,' said Alice, `we learned French and music.'

`And washing?' said the Mock Turtle.

`Certainly not!' said Alice indignantly.

`Ah! then yours wasn't a really good school,' said the MockTurtle in a tone of great relief. `Now at OURS they had at theend of the bill, "French, music, AND WASHING--extra."'

`You couldn't have wanted it much,' said Alice; `living at thebottom of the sea.'

`I couldn't afford to learn it.' said the Mock Turtle with asigh. `I only took the regular course.'

`What was that?' inquired Alice.

`Reeling and Writhing, of course, to begin with,' the MockTurtle replied; `and then the different branches of Arithmetic--Ambition, Distraction, Uglification, and Derision.'

`I never heard of "Uglification,"' Alice ventured to say. `Whatis it?'

The Gryphon lifted up both its paws in surprise. `What! Neverheard of uglifying!' it exclaimed. `You know what to beautifyis, I suppose?'

`Yes,' said Alice doubtfully: `it means--to--make--anything--prettier.'

`Well, then,' the Gryphon went on, `if you don't know what touglify is, you ARE a simpleton.'

Alice did not feel encouraged to ask any more questions aboutit, so she turned to the Mock Turtle, and said `What else had youto learn?'

`Well, there was Mystery,' the Mock Turtle replied, countingoff the subjects on his flappers, `--Mystery, ancient and modern,with Seaography: then Drawling--the Drawling-master was an oldconger-eel, that used to come once a week: HE taught usDrawling, Stretching, and Fainting in Coils.'

`What was THAT like?' said Alice.

`Well, I can't show it you myself,' the Mock Turtle said: `I'mtoo stiff. And the Gryphon never learnt it.'

`Hadn't time,' said the Gryphon: `I went to the Classicsmaster, though. He was an old crab, HE was.'

`I never went to him,' the Mock Turtle said with a sigh: `hetaught Laughing and Grief, they used to say.'

`So he did, so he did,' said the Gryphon, sighing in his turn;and both creatures hid their faces in their paws.

`And how many hours a day did you do lessons?' said Alice, in ahurry to change the subject.

`Ten hours the first day,' said the Mock Turtle: `nine thenext, and so on.'

`What a curious plan!' exclaimed Alice.

`That's the reason they're called lessons,' the Gryphonremarked: `because they lessen from day to day.'

This was quite a new idea to Alice, and she thought it over alittle before she made her next remark. `Then the eleventh daymust have been a holiday?'

`Of course it was,' said the Mock Turtle.

`And how did you manage on the twelfth?' Alice went on eagerly.

`That's enough about lessons,' the Gryphon interrupted in avery decided tone: `tell her something about the games now.'