Chapter 36 - How D'artagnan Drew, As A Fairy Would Have Done, A Country-Seat From A Deal Box

The king's words regarding the wounded pride of Monk had notinspired D'Artagnan with a small portion of apprehension.The lieutenant had had, all his life, the great art ofchoosing his enemies; and when he had found them implacableand invincible, it was when he had not been able, under anypretense, to make them otherwise. But points of view changegreatly in the course of a life. It is a magic lantern, ofwhich the eye of man every year changes the aspects. Itresults that from the last day of a year on which we sawwhite, to the first day of the year on which we shall seeblack, there is but the interval of a single night.

Now, D'Artagnan, when he left Calais with his ten scamps,would have hesitated as little in attacking a Goliath, aNebuchadnezzar, or a Holofernes as he would in crossingswords with a recruit or caviling with a landlady. Then heresembled the sparrow-hawk which, when fasting, will attacka ram. Hunger is blind. But D'Artagnan satisfied - D'Artagnan rich - D'Artagnan a conqueror - D'Artagnanproud of so difficult a triumph - D'Artagnan had too muchto lose not to reckon, figure by figure, with probablemisfortune.

His thoughts were employed, therefore, all the way on theroad from his presentation, with one thing, and that was,how he should conciliate a man like Monk, a man whom Charleshimself, kind as he was, conciliated with difficulty; for,scarcely established, the protected might again stand inneed of the protector, and would, consequently, not refusehim, such being the case, the petty satisfaction oftransporting M. d'Artagnan, or of confining him in one ofthe Middlesex prisons, or drowning him a little on hispassage from Dover to Boulogne. Such sorts of satisfactionkings are accustomed to render to viceroys withoutdisagreeable consequences.

It would not be at all necessary for the king to be activein that contrepartie of the play in which Monk should takehis revenge. The part of the king would be confined tosimply pardoning the viceroy of Ireland all he shouldundertake against D'Artagnan. Nothing more was necessary toplace the conscience of the Duke of Albemarle at rest than ate absolvo said with a laugh, or the scrawl of "Charles theKing," traced at the foot of a parchment; and with these twowords pronounced, and these two words written, poorD'Artagnan was forever crushed beneath the ruins of hisimagination.

And then, a thing sufficiently disquieting for a man withsuch foresight as our musketeer, he found himself alone; andeven the friendship of Athos could not restore hisconfidence. Certainly if the affair had only concerned afree distribution of sword-thrusts, the musketeer would havecounted upon his companion; but in delicate dealings with aking, when the perhaps of an unlucky chance should arise injustification of Monk or of Charles of England, D'Artagnanknew Athos well enough to be sure he would give the bestpossible coloring to the loyalty of the survivor, and wouldcontent himself with shedding floods of tears on the tomb ofthe dead, supposing the dead to be his friend, andafterwards composing his epitaph in the most pompoussuperlatives.

"Decidedly," thought the Gascon; and this thought was theresult of the reflections which he had just whispered tohimself and which we have repeated aloud - "decidedly, Imust be reconciled with M. Monk, and acquire a proof of hisperfect indifference for the past. If, and God forbid itshould be so! he is still sulky and reserved in theexpression of this sentiment, I shall give my money to Athosto take away with him, and remain in England just longenough to unmask him, then, as I have a quick eye and alight foot, I shall notice the first hostile sign; to decampor conceal myself at the residence of my lord of Buckingham,who seems a good sort of devil at the bottom, and to whom,in return for his hospitality, I shall relate all thathistory of the diamonds, which can now compromise nobody butan old queen, who need not be ashamed, after being the wifeof a miserly creature like Mazarin, of having formerly beenthe mistress of a handsome nobleman like Buckingham.Mordioux! that is the thing, and this Monk shall not get thebetter of me. Eh? and besides I have an idea!"

We know that, in general, D'Artagnan was not wanting inideas; and during this soliloquy, D'Artagnan buttoned hisvest up to the chin, and nothing excited his imaginationlike this preparation for a combat of any kind, calledaccinction by the Romans. He was quite heated when hereached the mansion of the Duke of Albemarle. He wasintroduced to the viceroy with a promptitude which provedthat he was considered as one of the household. Monk was inhis business-closet.

"My lord," said D'Artagnan, with that expression offrankness which the Gascon knew so well how to assume, "mylord, I have come to ask your grace's advice!"

Monk, as closely buttoned up morally as his antagonist wasphysically, replied: "Ask, my friend;" and his countenancepresented an expression not less open than that ofD'Artagnan.

"My lord, in the first place, promise me secrecy andindulgence."

"I promise you all you wish. What is the matter? Speak!"

"It is, my lord, that I am not quite pleased with the king."

"Indeed! And on what account, my dear lieutenant?"

"Because his majesty gives way sometimes to jest verycompromising for his servants; and jesting, my lord, is aweapon that seriously wounds men of the sword, as we are."

Monk did all in his power not to betray his thought, butD'Artagnan watched him with too close an attention not todetect an almost imperceptible flush upon his face. "Well,now, for my part," said he, with the most natural airpossible, "I am not an enemy of jesting, my dear Monsieurd'Artagnan; my soldiers will tell you that even many timesin camp, I listened very indifferently, and with a certainpleasure, to the satirical songs which the army of Lambertpassed into mine, and which, certainly, would have causedthe ears of a general more susceptible than I am to tingle."

"Oh, my lord," said D'Artagnan, "I know you are a completeman; I know you have been, for a long time placed abovehuman miseries; but there are jests and jests of a certainkind, which have the power of irritating me beyondexpression."

"May I inquire what kind, my friend?"

"Such as are directed against my friends or against people Irespect, my lord!"

Monk made a slight movement, which D'Artagnan perceived."Eh! and in what," asked Monk, "in what can the stroke of apin which scratches another tickle your skin? Answer methat."

"My lord, I can explain it to you in one single sentence; itconcerns you."

Monk advanced a single step towards D'Artagnan. "Concernsme?" said he.

"Yes, and this is what I cannot explain; but that arises,perhaps, from my want of knowledge of his character. How canthe king have the heart to jest about a man who has renderedhim so many and such great services? How can one understandthat he should amuse himself in setting by the ears a lionlike you with a gnat like me?"

"I cannot conceive that in any way," said Monk.

"But so it is. The king, who owed me a reward, might haverewarded me as a soldier, without contriving that history ofthe ransom, which affects you, my lord."

"No," said Monk, laughing: "it does not affect me in anyway, I can assure you."

"Not as regards me, I can understand, you know me, my lord,I am so discreet that the grave would appear a babblercompared to me; but - do you understand, my lord?"

"No," replied Monk, with persistent obstinacy.

"If another knew the secret which I know - - "

"What secret?"

"Eh! my lord, why, that unfortunate secret of Newcastle."

"Oh! the million of M. le Comte de la Fere?"

"No, my lord, no; the enterprise made upon you grace'sperson."

"It was well played, chevalier, that is all, and no more isto be said about it: you are a soldier, both brave andcunning, which proves that you unite the qualities of Fabiusand Hannibal. You employed your means, force and cunning:there is nothing to be said against that: I ought to havebeen on guard."

"Ah! yes; I know, my lord, and I expected nothing less fromyour partiality; so that if it were only the abduction initself, Mordieux! that would be nothing; but there are - - "

"What?"

"The circumstances of that abduction."

"What circumstances?"

"Oh! you know very well what I mean, my lord."

"No, curse me if I do."

"There is - in truth, it is difficult to speak it."

"There is?"

"Well, there is that devil of a box!"

Monk colored visibly. "Well, I have forgotten it."

"Deal box," continued D'Artagnan, "with holes for the noseand mouth. In truth, my lord, all the rest was well; but thebox, the box! that was really a coarse joke." Monk fidgetedabout in his chair. "And, notwithstanding my having donethat," resumed D'Artagnan, "I, a soldier of fortune, it wasquite simple, because by the side of that action, a littleinconsiderate I admit, which I committed, but which thegravity of the case may excuse, I am circumspect andreserved."

"Oh!" said Monk, "believe me, I know you well, Monsieurd'Artagnan, and I appreciate you."

D'Artagnan never took his eyes off Monk; studying all whichpassed in the mind of the general, as he prosecuted hisidea. "But it does not concern me," resumed he.

"Well, then, whom does it concern?" said Monk, who began togrow a little impatient.

"It relates to the king, who will never restrain histongue."

"Well! and suppose he should say all he knows?" said Monk,with a degree of hesitation.

"My lord," replied D'Artagnan, "do not dissemble, I imploreyou, with a man who speaks so frankly as I do. You have aright to feel your susceptibility excited, however benignantit may be. What, the devil! it is not the place for a manlike you, a man who plays with crowns and scepters as aBohemian plays with his balls; it is not the place of aserious man, I said, to be shut up in a box like some freakof natural history; for you must understand it would makeall your enemies ready to burst with laughter, and you areso great, so noble, so generous, that you must have manyenemies. This secret is enough to set half the human racelaughing, if you were represented in that box. It is notdecent to have the second personage in the kingdom laughedat."

Monk was quite out of countenance at the idea of seeinghimself represented in his box. Ridicule, as D'Artagnan hadjudiciously foreseen, acted upon him in a manner whichneither the chances of war, the aspirations of ambition, northe fear of death had been able to do.

"Good," thought the Gascon, "he is frightened: I am safe."

"Oh! as to the king," said Monk, "fear nothing, my dearMonsieur d'Artagnan; the king will not jest with Monk, Iassure you!"

The momentary flash of his eye was noticed by D'Artagnan.Monk lowered his tone immediately: "The king," continued he,"is of too noble a nature, the king's heart is too high toallow him to wish ill to those who do him good."

"Oh! certainly," cried D'Artagnan. "I am entirely of yourgrace's opinion with regard to his heart, but not as to hishead - it is good, but it is trifling."

"The king will not trifle with Monk, be assured."

"Then you are quite at ease, my lord?"

"On that side, at least! yes, perfectly."

"Oh! I understand you; you are at ease as far as the king isconcerned?"

"I have told you I was."

"But you are not so much so on my account?"

"I thought I had told you that I had faith in your loyaltyand discretion."

"No doubt, no doubt, but you must remember one thing - - "

"What is that?"

"That I was not alone, that I had companions; and whatcompanions!"

"Oh! yes, I know them."

"And, unfortunately, my lord, they know you, too!"

"Well?"

"Well; they are yonder, at Boulogne, waiting for me."

"And you fear - - "

"Yes, I fear that in my absence - Parbleu! If I were nearthem, I could answer for their silence."

"Was I not right in saying that the danger, if there was anydanger, would not come from his majesty, however disposed hemay be to jest, but from your companions, as you say? To belaughed at by a king may be tolerable, but by the horse-boysand scamps of the army! Damn it!"

"Yes, I understand, that would be unbearable, that is why,my lord, I came to say, - do you not think it would bebetter for me to set out for France as soon as possible?"

"Certainly, if you think your presence - - "

"Would impose silence upon these scoundrels? Oh! I am sureof that, my lord."

"Your presence will not prevent the report from spreading,if the tale has already transpired."

"Oh! it has not transpired, my lord, I will wager. At allevents, be assured I am determined upon one thing."

"What is that?"

"To blow out the brains of the first who shall havepropagated that report, and of the first who has heard it.After which I shall return to England to seek an asylum, andperhaps employment with your grace."

"Oh, come back! come back!"

"Unfortunately, my lord, I am acquainted with nobody herebut your grace, and if I should no longer find you, or ifyou should have forgotten me in your greatness?"

"Listen to me, Monsieur d'Artagnan," replied Monk; "you area superior man, full of intelligence and courage; youdeserve all the good fortune this world can bring you; comewith me into Scotland, and, I swear to you, I shall arrangefor you a fate which all may envy."

"Oh! my lord, that is impossible. At present I have a sacredduty to perform; I have to watch over your glory, I have toprevent a low jester from tarnishing in the eyes of ourcontemporaries - who knows? in the eyes of posterity - thesplendor of your name."

"Of posterity, Monsieur d'Artagnan?"

"Doubtless. It is necessary, as regards posterity, that allthe details of that history should remain a mystery; for,admit that this unfortunate history of the deal box shouldspread, and it should be asserted that you had notre-established the king loyally, and of your own free will,but in consequence of a compromise entered into atScheveningen between you two. It would be vain for me todeclare how the thing came about, for though I know I shouldnot be believed, it would be said that I had received mypart of the cake, and was eating it."

Monk knitted his brow. - "Glory, honor, probity!" said he,"you are but empty words."

"Mist!" replied D'Artagnan; "nothing but mist, through whichnobody can see clearly."

"Well, then, go to France, my dear Monsieur d'Artagnan,"said Monk; "go, and to render England more attractive andagreeable to you, accept a remembrance of me.

"What now?" thought D'Artagnan.

"I have on the banks of the Clyde," continued Monk, "alittle house in a grove, cottage as it is called here. Tothis house are attached a hundred acres of land. Accept itas a souvenir."

"Oh my lord! - - "

"Faith! you will be there in your own home, and that will bethe place of refuge you spoke of just now."

"For me to be obliged to your lordship to such an extent!Really, your grace, I am ashamed."

"Not at all, not at all, monsieur," replied Monk, with anarch smile; "it is I who shall be obliged to you. And,"pressing the hand of the musketeer, "I shall go and draw upthe deed of gift," - and he left the room.

D'Artagnan looked at him as he went out with something of apensive and even an agitated air.

"After all," said he, "he is a brave man. It is only a sadreflection that it is from fear of me, and not affectionthat he acts thus. Well, I shall endeavor that affection mayfollow." Then, after an instant's deeper reflection, - "Bah!" said he, "to what purpose? He is an Englishman." Andhe in his turn went out, a little confused after the combat.

"So," said he, "I am a land-owner! But how the devil am I toshare the cottage with Planchet? Unless I give him the land,and I take the chateau, or that he takes the house and I - nonsense! M. Monk will never allow me to share a house hehas inhabited, with a grocer. He is too proud for that.Besides, why should I say anything about it to him? It wasnot with the money of the company I have acquired thatproperty, it was with my mother-wit alone; it is all mine,then. So, now I will go and find Athos." And he directed hissteps towards the dwelling of the Comte de la Fere