Chapter 31 - Of Ralph Nickleby and Newman Noggs, and some wise Precautions, thesuccess or failure of

In blissful unconsciousness that his nephew was hastening at the utmostspeed of four good horses towards his sphere of action, and that everypassing minute diminished the distance between them, Ralph Nickleby satthat morning occupied in his customary avocations, and yet unable toprevent his thoughts wandering from time to time back to the interviewwhich had taken place between himself and his niece on the previousday. At such intervals, after a few moments of abstraction, Ralphwould mutter some peevish interjection, and apply himself with renewedsteadiness of purpose to the ledger before him, but again and again thesame train of thought came back despite all his efforts to prevent it,confusing him in his calculations, and utterly distracting his attentionfrom the figures over which he bent. At length Ralph laid down his pen,and threw himself back in his chair as though he had made up his mind toallow the obtrusive current of reflection to take its own course, and,by giving it full scope, to rid himself of it effectually.

'I am not a man to be moved by a pretty face,' muttered Ralph sternly.'There is a grinning skull beneath it, and men like me who look and workbelow the surface see that, and not its delicate covering. And yetI almost like the girl, or should if she had been less proudly andsqueamishly brought up. If the boy were drowned or hanged, and themother dead, this house should be her home. I wish they were, with allmy soul.'

Notwithstanding the deadly hatred which Ralph felt towards Nicholas,and the bitter contempt with which he sneered at poor MrsNickleby--notwithstanding the baseness with which he had behaved, andwas then behaving, and would behave again if his interest promptedhim, towards Kate herself--still there was, strange though it may seem,something humanising and even gentle in his thoughts at that moment. Hethought of what his home might be if Kate were there; he placed her inthe empty chair, looked upon her, heard her speak; he felt again uponhis arm the gentle pressure of the trembling hand; he strewed hiscostly rooms with the hundred silent tokens of feminine presence andoccupation; he came back again to the cold fireside and the silentdreary splendour; and in that one glimpse of a better nature, born asit was in selfish thoughts, the rich man felt himself friendless,childless, and alone. Gold, for the instant, lost its lustre in hiseyes, for there were countless treasures of the heart which it couldnever purchase.

A very slight circumstance was sufficient to banish such reflectionsfrom the mind of such a man. As Ralph looked vacantly out across theyard towards the window of the other office, he became suddenly aware ofthe earnest observation of Newman Noggs, who, with his red nose almosttouching the glass, feigned to be mending a pen with a rusty fragment ofa knife, but was in reality staring at his employer with a countenanceof the closest and most eager scrutiny.

Ralph exchanged his dreamy posture for his accustomed business attitude:the face of Newman disappeared, and the train of thought took to flight,all simultaneously, and in an instant.

After a few minutes, Ralph rang his bell. Newman answered the summons,and Ralph raised his eyes stealthily to his face, as if he almost fearedto read there, a knowledge of his recent thoughts.

There was not the smallest speculation, however, in the countenance ofNewman Noggs. If it be possible to imagine a man, with two eyes in hishead, and both wide open, looking in no direction whatever, and seeingnothing, Newman appeared to be that man while Ralph Nickleby regardedhim.

'How now?' growled Ralph.

'Oh!' said Newman, throwing some intelligence into his eyes all atonce, and dropping them on his master, 'I thought you rang.' With whichlaconic remark Newman turned round and hobbled away.

'Stop!' said Ralph.

Newman stopped; not at all disconcerted.

'I did ring.'

'I knew you did.'

'Then why do you offer to go if you know that?'

'I thought you rang to say you didn't ring,' replied Newman. 'You oftendo.'

'How dare you pry, and peer, and stare at me, sirrah?' demanded Ralph.

'Stare!' cried Newman, 'at YOU! Ha, ha!' which was all the explanationNewman deigned to offer.

'Be careful, sir,' said Ralph, looking steadily at him. 'Let me have nodrunken fooling here. Do you see this parcel?'

'It's big enough,' rejoined Newman.

'Carry it into the city; to Cross, in Broad Street, and leave itthere--quick. Do you hear?'

Newman gave a dogged kind of nod to express an affirmative reply, and,leaving the room for a few seconds, returned with his hat. Having madevarious ineffective attempts to fit the parcel (which was some two feetsquare) into the crown thereof, Newman took it under his arm, andafter putting on his fingerless gloves with great precision and nicety,keeping his eyes fixed upon Mr Ralph Nickleby all the time, he adjustedhis hat upon his head with as much care, real or pretended, as if itwere a bran-new one of the most expensive quality, and at last departedon his errand.

He executed his commission with great promptitude and dispatch, onlycalling at one public-house for half a minute, and even that might besaid to be in his way, for he went in at one door and came out at theother; but as he returned and had got so far homewards as the Strand,Newman began to loiter with the uncertain air of a man who has not quitemade up his mind whether to halt or go straight forwards. After avery short consideration, the former inclination prevailed, and makingtowards the point he had had in his mind, Newman knocked a modest doubleknock, or rather a nervous single one, at Miss La Creevy's door.

It was opened by a strange servant, on whom the odd figure of thevisitor did not appear to make the most favourable impression possible,inasmuch as she no sooner saw him than she very nearly closed it, andplacing herself in the narrow gap, inquired what he wanted. But Newmanmerely uttering the monosyllable 'Noggs,' as if it were some cabalisticword, at sound of which bolts would fly back and doors open, pushedbriskly past and gained the door of Miss La Creevy's sitting-room,before the astonished servant could offer any opposition.

'Walk in if you please,' said Miss La Creevy in reply to the sound ofNewman's knuckles; and in he walked accordingly.

'Bless us!' cried Miss La Creevy, starting as Newman bolted in; 'whatdid you want, sir?'

'You have forgotten me,' said Newman, with an inclination of the head.'I wonder at that. That nobody should remember me who knew me in otherdays, is natural enough; but there are few people who, seeing me once,forget me NOW.' He glanced, as he spoke, at his shabby clothes andparalytic limb, and slightly shook his head.

'I did forget you, I declare,' said Miss La Creevy, rising to receiveNewman, who met her half-way, 'and I am ashamed of myself for doing so;for you are a kind, good creature, Mr Noggs. Sit down and tell me allabout Miss Nickleby. Poor dear thing! I haven't seen her for this many aweek.'

'How's that?' asked Newman.

'Why, the truth is, Mr Noggs,' said Miss La Creevy, 'that I have beenout on a visit--the first visit I have made for fifteen years.'

'That is a long time,' said Newman, sadly.

'So it is a very long time to look back upon in years, though, somehowor other, thank Heaven, the solitary days roll away peacefully andhappily enough,' replied the miniature painter. 'I have a brother, MrNoggs--the only relation I have--and all that time I never saw him once.Not that we ever quarrelled, but he was apprenticed down in the country,and he got married there; and new ties and affections springing up abouthim, he forgot a poor little woman like me, as it was very reasonablehe should, you know. Don't suppose that I complain about that, because Ialways said to myself, "It is very natural; poor dear John is making hisway in the world, and has a wife to tell his cares and troubles to, andchildren now to play about him, so God bless him and them, and send wemay all meet together one day where we shall part no more." But whatdo you think, Mr Noggs,' said the miniature painter, brightening up andclapping her hands, 'of that very same brother coming up to London atlast, and never resting till he found me out; what do you think of hiscoming here and sitting down in that very chair, and crying like a childbecause he was so glad to see me--what do you think of his insisting ontaking me down all the way into the country to his own house (quite asumptuous place, Mr Noggs, with a large garden and I don't know how manyfields, and a man in livery waiting at table, and cows and horses andpigs and I don't know what besides), and making me stay a whole month,and pressing me to stop there all my life--yes, all my life--and so didhis wife, and so did the children--and there were four of them, and one,the eldest girl of all, they--they had named her after me eight goodyears before, they had indeed. I never was so happy; in all my life Inever was!' The worthy soul hid her face in her handkerchief, and sobbedaloud; for it was the first opportunity she had had of unburdening herheart, and it would have its way.

'But bless my life,' said Miss La Creevy, wiping her eyes after a shortpause, and cramming her handkerchief into her pocket with great bustleand dispatch; 'what a foolish creature I must seem to you, Mr Noggs! Ishouldn't have said anything about it, only I wanted to explain to youhow it was I hadn't seen Miss Nickleby.'

'Have you seen the old lady?' asked Newman.

'You mean Mrs Nickleby?' said Miss La Creevy. 'Then I tell you what, MrNoggs, if you want to keep in the good books in that quarter, you hadbetter not call her the old lady any more, for I suspect she wouldn't bebest pleased to hear you. Yes, I went there the night before last, butshe was quite on the high ropes about something, and was so grand andmysterious, that I couldn't make anything of her: so, to tell you thetruth, I took it into my head to be grand too, and came away in state. Ithought she would have come round again before this, but she hasn't beenhere.'

'About Miss Nickleby--' said Newman.

'Why, she was here twice while I was away,' returned Miss La Creevy. 'Iwas afraid she mightn't like to have me calling on her among those greatfolks in what's-its-name Place, so I thought I'd wait a day or two, andif I didn't see her, write.'

'Ah!' exclaimed Newman, cracking his fingers.

'However, I want to hear all the news about them from you,' said Miss LaCreevy. 'How is the old rough and tough monster of Golden Square? Well,of course; such people always are. I don't mean how is he in health, buthow is he going on: how is he behaving himself?'

'Damn him!' cried Newman, dashing his cherished hat on the floor; 'likea false hound.'

'Gracious, Mr Noggs, you quite terrify me!' exclaimed Miss La Creevy,turning pale.

'I should have spoilt his features yesterday afternoon if I could haveafforded it,' said Newman, moving restlessly about, and shaking his fistat a portrait of Mr Canning over the mantelpiece. 'I was very near it.I was obliged to put my hands in my pockets, and keep 'em there verytight. I shall do it some day in that little back-parlour, I know Ishall. I should have done it before now, if I hadn't been afraid ofmaking bad worse. I shall double-lock myself in with him and have it outbefore I die, I'm quite certain of it.'

'I shall scream if you don't compose yourself, Mr Noggs,' said Miss LaCreevy; 'I'm sure I shan't be able to help it.'

'Never mind,' rejoined Newman, darting violently to and fro. 'He'scoming up tonight: I wrote to tell him. He little thinks I know; helittle thinks I care. Cunning scoundrel! he don't think that. Nothe, not he. Never mind, I'll thwart him--I, Newman Noggs. Ho, ho, therascal!'

Lashing himself up to an extravagant pitch of fury, Newman Noggs jerkedhimself about the room with the most eccentric motion ever beheld in ahuman being: now sparring at the little miniatures on the wall, andnow giving himself violent thumps on the head, as if to heighten thedelusion, until he sank down in his former seat quite breathless andexhausted.

'There,' said Newman, picking up his hat; 'that's done me good. Now I'mbetter, and I'll tell you all about it.'

It took some little time to reassure Miss La Creevy, who had been almostfrightened out of her senses by this remarkable demonstration; but thatdone, Newman faithfully related all that had passed in the interviewbetween Kate and her uncle, prefacing his narrative with a statementof his previous suspicions on the subject, and his reasons for formingthem; and concluding with a communication of the step he had taken insecretly writing to Nicholas.

Though little Miss La Creevy's indignation was not so singularlydisplayed as Newman's, it was scarcely inferior in violence andintensity. Indeed, if Ralph Nickleby had happened to make his appearancein the room at that moment, there is some doubt whether he would nothave found Miss La Creevy a more dangerous opponent than even NewmanNoggs himself.

'God forgive me for saying so,' said Miss La Creevy, as a wind-up to allher expressions of anger, 'but I really feel as if I could stick thisinto him with pleasure.'

It was not a very awful weapon that Miss La Creevy held, it being infact nothing more nor less than a black-lead pencil; but discovering hermistake, the little portrait painter exchanged it for a mother-of-pearlfruit knife, wherewith, in proof of her desperate thoughts, she made alunge as she spoke, which would have scarcely disturbed the crumb of ahalf-quartern loaf.

'She won't stop where she is after tonight,' said Newman. 'That's acomfort.'

'Stop!' cried Miss La Creevy, 'she should have left there, weeks ago.'

'--If we had known of this,' rejoined Newman. 'But we didn't. Nobodycould properly interfere but her mother or brother. The mother'sweak--poor thing--weak. The dear young man will be here tonight.'

'Heart alive!' cried Miss La Creevy. 'He will do something desperate, MrNoggs, if you tell him all at once.'

Newman left off rubbing his hands, and assumed a thoughtful look.

'Depend upon it,' said Miss La Creevy, earnestly, 'if you are not verycareful in breaking out the truth to him, he will do some violence uponhis uncle or one of these men that will bring some terrible calamityupon his own head, and grief and sorrow to us all.'

'I never thought of that,' rejoined Newman, his countenance falling moreand more. 'I came to ask you to receive his sister in case he broughther here, but--'

'But this is a matter of much greater importance,' interrupted Miss LaCreevy; 'that you might have been sure of before you came, but the endof this, nobody can foresee, unless you are very guarded and careful.'

'What CAN I do?' cried Newman, scratching his head with an air of greatvexation and perplexity. 'If he was to talk of pistoling 'em all, Ishould be obliged to say, "Certainly--serve 'em right."'

Miss La Creevy could not suppress a small shriek on hearing this, andinstantly set about extorting a solemn pledge from Newman that he woulduse his utmost endeavours to pacify the wrath of Nicholas; which, aftersome demur, was conceded. They then consulted together on the safest andsurest mode of communicating to him the circumstances which had renderedhis presence necessary.

'He must have time to cool before he can possibly do anything,' saidMiss La Creevy. 'That is of the greatest consequence. He must not betold until late at night.'

'But he'll be in town between six and seven this evening,' repliedNewman. 'I can't keep it from him when he asks me.'

'Then you must go out, Mr Noggs,' said Miss La Creevy. 'You can easilyhave been kept away by business, and must not return till nearlymidnight.'

'Then he will come straight here,' retorted Newman.

'So I suppose,' observed Miss La Creevy; 'but he won't find me at home,for I'll go straight to the city the instant you leave me, make upmatters with Mrs Nickleby, and take her away to the theatre, so that hemay not even know where his sister lives.'

Upon further discussion, this appeared the safest and most feasible modeof proceeding that could possibly be adopted. Therefore it was finallydetermined that matters should be so arranged, and Newman, afterlistening to many supplementary cautions and entreaties, took his leaveof Miss La Creevy and trudged back to Golden Square; ruminating ashe went upon a vast number of possibilities and impossibilities whichcrowded upon his brain, and arose out of the conversation that had justterminated.