My new life had lasted for more than a week, and I was stronger thanever in those tremendous practical resolutions that I felt the crisisrequired. I continued to walk extremely fast, and to have a general ideathat I was getting on. I made it a rule to take as much out of myselfas I possibly could, in my way of doing everything to which I appliedmy energies. I made a perfect victim of myself. I even entertained someidea of putting myself on a vegetable diet, vaguely conceiving that, inbecoming a graminivorous animal, I should sacrifice to Dora.

As yet, little Dora was quite unconscious of my desperate firmness,otherwise than as my letters darkly shadowed it forth. But anotherSaturday came, and on that Saturday evening she was to be at MissMills's; and when Mr. Mills had gone to his whist-club (telegraphed tome in the street, by a bird-cage in the drawing-room middle window), Iwas to go there to tea.

By this time, we were quite settled down in Buckingham Street, where Mr.Dick continued his copying in a state of absolute felicity. My aunt hadobtained a signal victory over Mrs. Crupp, by paying her off, throwingthe first pitcher she planted on the stairs out of window, andprotecting in person, up and down the staircase, a supernumerary whomshe engaged from the outer world. These vigorous measures struck suchterror to the breast of Mrs. Crupp, that she subsided into her ownkitchen, under the impression that my aunt was mad. My aunt beingsupremely indifferent to Mrs. Crupp's opinion and everybody else's, andrather favouring than discouraging the idea, Mrs. Crupp, of late thebold, became within a few days so faint-hearted, that rather thanencounter my aunt upon the staircase, she would endeavour to hide herportly form behind doors--leaving visible, however, a wide margin offlannel petticoat--or would shrink into dark corners. This gave my auntsuch unspeakable satisfaction, that I believe she took a delight inprowling up and down, with her bonnet insanely perched on the top of herhead, at times when Mrs. Crupp was likely to be in the way.

My aunt, being uncommonly neat and ingenious, made so many littleimprovements in our domestic arrangements, that I seemed to be richerinstead of poorer. Among the rest, she converted the pantry into adressing-room for me; and purchased and embellished a bedstead for myoccupation, which looked as like a bookcase in the daytime as a bedsteadcould. I was the object of her constant solicitude; and my poor motherherself could not have loved me better, or studied more how to make mehappy.

Peggotty had considered herself highly privileged in being allowed toparticipate in these labours; and, although she still retained somethingof her old sentiment of awe in reference to my aunt, had received somany marks of encouragement and confidence, that they were the bestfriends possible. But the time had now come (I am speaking of theSaturday when I was to take tea at Miss Mills's) when it was necessaryfor her to return home, and enter on the discharge of the duties she hadundertaken in behalf of Ham. 'So good-bye, Barkis,' said my aunt, 'andtake care of yourself! I am sure I never thought I could be sorry tolose you!'

I took Peggotty to the coach office and saw her off. She cried atparting, and confided her brother to my friendship as Ham had done. Wehad heard nothing of him since he went away, that sunny afternoon.

'And now, my own dear Davy,' said Peggotty, 'if, while you're aprentice, you should want any money to spend; or if, when you're out ofyour time, my dear, you should want any to set you up (and you must doone or other, or both, my darling); who has such a good right to askleave to lend it you, as my sweet girl's own old stupid me!'

I was not so savagely independent as to say anything in reply, but thatif ever I borrowed money of anyone, I would borrow it of her. Next toaccepting a large sum on the spot, I believe this gave Peggotty morecomfort than anything I could have done.

'And, my dear!' whispered Peggotty, 'tell the pretty little angel thatI should so have liked to see her, only for a minute! And tell her thatbefore she marries my boy, I'll come and make your house so beautifulfor you, if you'll let me!'

I declared that nobody else should touch it; and this gave Peggotty suchdelight that she went away in good spirits.

I fatigued myself as much as I possibly could in the Commons all day, bya variety of devices, and at the appointed time in the evening repairedto Mr. Mills's street. Mr. Mills, who was a terrible fellow to fallasleep after dinner, had not yet gone out, and there was no bird-cage inthe middle window.

He kept me waiting so long, that I fervently hoped the Club would finehim for being late. At last he came out; and then I saw my own Dora hangup the bird-cage, and peep into the balcony to look for me, and runin again when she saw I was there, while Jip remained behind, to barkinjuriously at an immense butcher's dog in the street, who could havetaken him like a pill.

Dora came to the drawing-room door to meet me; and Jip came scramblingout, tumbling over his own growls, under the impression that I was aBandit; and we all three went in, as happy and loving as could be. Isoon carried desolation into the bosom of our joys--not that I meant todo it, but that I was so full of the subject--by asking Dora, withoutthe smallest preparation, if she could love a beggar?

My pretty, little, startled Dora! Her only association with the word wasa yellow face and a nightcap, or a pair of crutches, or a wooden leg, ora dog with a decanter-stand in his mouth, or something of that kind; andshe stared at me with the most delightful wonder.

'How can you ask me anything so foolish?' pouted Dora. 'Love a beggar!'

'Dora, my own dearest!' said I. 'I am a beggar!'

'How can you be such a silly thing,' replied Dora, slapping my hand, 'asto sit there, telling such stories? I'll make Jip bite you!'

Her childish way was the most delicious way in the world to me, but itwas necessary to be explicit, and I solemnly repeated:

'Dora, my own life, I am your ruined David!'

'I declare I'll make Jip bite you!' said Dora, shaking her curls, 'ifyou are so ridiculous.'

But I looked so serious, that Dora left off shaking her curls, and laidher trembling little hand upon my shoulder, and first looked scaredand anxious, then began to cry. That was dreadful. I fell upon my kneesbefore the sofa, caressing her, and imploring her not to rend my heart;but, for some time, poor little Dora did nothing but exclaim Oh dear! Ohdear! And oh, she was so frightened! And where was Julia Mills! And oh,take her to Julia Mills, and go away, please! until I was almost besidemyself.

At last, after an agony of supplication and protestation, I got Dorato look at me, with a horrified expression of face, which I graduallysoothed until it was only loving, and her soft, pretty cheek was lyingagainst mine. Then I told her, with my arms clasped round her, how Iloved her, so dearly, and so dearly; how I felt it right to offer torelease her from her engagement, because now I was poor; how I nevercould bear it, or recover it, if I lost her; how I had no fears ofpoverty, if she had none, my arm being nerved and my heart inspired byher; how I was already working with a courage such as none but loversknew; how I had begun to be practical, and look into the future; how acrust well earned was sweeter far than a feast inherited; and muchmore to the same purpose, which I delivered in a burst of passionateeloquence quite surprising to myself, though I had been thinking aboutit, day and night, ever since my aunt had astonished me.

'Is your heart mine still, dear Dora?' said I, rapturously, for I knewby her clinging to me that it was.

'Oh, yes!' cried Dora. 'Oh, yes, it's all yours. Oh, don't be dreadful!'

I dreadful! To Dora!

'Don't talk about being poor, and working hard!' said Dora, nestlingcloser to me. 'Oh, don't, don't!'

'My dearest love,' said I, 'the crust well-earned--'

'Oh, yes; but I don't want to hear any more about crusts!' said Dora.'And Jip must have a mutton-chop every day at twelve, or he'll die.'

I was charmed with her childish, winning way. I fondly explained to Dorathat Jip should have his mutton-chop with his accustomed regularity.I drew a picture of our frugal home, made independent by mylabour--sketching in the little house I had seen at Highgate, and myaunt in her room upstairs.

'I am not dreadful now, Dora?' said I, tenderly.

'Oh, no, no!' cried Dora. 'But I hope your aunt will keep in her ownroom a good deal. And I hope she's not a scolding old thing!'

If it were possible for me to love Dora more than ever, I am sure I did.But I felt she was a little impracticable. It damped my new-born ardour,to find that ardour so difficult of communication to her. I made anothertrial. When she was quite herself again, and was curling Jip's ears, ashe lay upon her lap, I became grave, and said:

'My own! May I mention something?'

'Oh, please don't be practical!' said Dora, coaxingly. 'Because itfrightens me so!'

'Sweetheart!' I returned; 'there is nothing to alarm you in all this. Iwant you to think of it quite differently. I want to make it nerve you,and inspire you, Dora!'

'Oh, but that's so shocking!' cried Dora.

'My love, no. Perseverance and strength of character will enable us tobear much worse things.' 'But I haven't got any strength at all,'said Dora, shaking her curls. 'Have I, Jip? Oh, do kiss Jip, and beagreeable!'

It was impossible to resist kissing Jip, when she held him up to me forthat purpose, putting her own bright, rosy little mouth into kissingform, as she directed the operation, which she insisted should beperformed symmetrically, on the centre of his nose. I did as she bademe--rewarding myself afterwards for my obedience--and she charmed me outof my graver character for I don't know how long.

'But, Dora, my beloved!' said I, at last resuming it; 'I was going tomention something.'

The judge of the Prerogative Court might have fallen in love with her,to see her fold her little hands and hold them up, begging and prayingme not to be dreadful any more.

'Indeed I am not going to be, my darling!' I assured her. 'But, Dora, mylove, if you will sometimes think,--not despondingly, you know; far fromthat!--but if you will sometimes think--just to encourage yourself--thatyou are engaged to a poor man--'

'Don't, don't! Pray don't!' cried Dora. 'It's so very dreadful!'

'My soul, not at all!' said I, cheerfully. 'If you will sometimes thinkof that, and look about now and then at your papa's housekeeping, andendeavour to acquire a little habit--of accounts, for instance--'

Poor little Dora received this suggestion with something that was half asob and half a scream.

'--It would be so useful to us afterwards,' I went on. 'And if you wouldpromise me to read a little--a little Cookery Book that I would sendyou, it would be so excellent for both of us. For our path in life, myDora,' said I, warming with the subject, 'is stony and rugged now, andit rests with us to smooth it. We must fight our way onward. We must bebrave. There are obstacles to be met, and we must meet, and crush them!'

I was going on at a great rate, with a clenched hand, and a mostenthusiastic countenance; but it was quite unnecessary to proceed. I hadsaid enough. I had done it again. Oh, she was so frightened! Oh, wherewas Julia Mills! Oh, take her to Julia Mills, and go away, please!So that, in short, I was quite distracted, and raved about thedrawing-room.

I thought I had killed her, this time. I sprinkled water on her face.I went down on my knees. I plucked at my hair. I denounced myself as aremorseless brute and a ruthless beast. I implored her forgiveness.I besought her to look up. I ravaged Miss Mills's work-box for asmelling-bottle, and in my agony of mind applied an ivory needle-caseinstead, and dropped all the needles over Dora. I shook my fists at Jip,who was as frantic as myself. I did every wild extravagance that couldbe done, and was a long way beyond the end of my wits when Miss Millscame into the room.

'Who has done this?' exclaimed Miss Mills, succouring her friend.

I replied, 'I, Miss Mills! I have done it! Behold the destroyer!'--orwords to that effect--and hid my face from the light, in the sofacushion.

At first Miss Mills thought it was a quarrel, and that we were vergingon the Desert of Sahara; but she soon found out how matters stood, formy dear affectionate little Dora, embracing her, began exclaiming that Iwas 'a poor labourer'; and then cried for me, and embraced me, and askedme would I let her give me all her money to keep, and then fell on MissMills's neck, sobbing as if her tender heart were broken.

Miss Mills must have been born to be a blessing to us. She ascertainedfrom me in a few words what it was all about, comforted Dora, andgradually convinced her that I was not a labourer--from my manner ofstating the case I believe Dora concluded that I was a navigator,and went balancing myself up and down a plank all day with awheelbarrow--and so brought us together in peace. When we were quitecomposed, and Dora had gone up-stairs to put some rose-water to hereyes, Miss Mills rang for tea. In the ensuing interval, I told MissMills that she was evermore my friend, and that my heart must cease tovibrate ere I could forget her sympathy.

I then expounded to Miss Mills what I had endeavoured, so veryunsuccessfully, to expound to Dora. Miss Mills replied, on generalprinciples, that the Cottage of content was better than the Palace ofcold splendour, and that where love was, all was.

I said to Miss Mills that this was very true, and who should knowit better than I, who loved Dora with a love that never mortal hadexperienced yet? But on Miss Mills observing, with despondency, thatit were well indeed for some hearts if this were so, I explained thatI begged leave to restrict the observation to mortals of the masculinegender.

I then put it to Miss Mills, to say whether she considered that therewas or was not any practical merit in the suggestion I had been anxiousto make, concerning the accounts, the housekeeping, and the CookeryBook?

Miss Mills, after some consideration, thus replied:

'Mr. Copperfield, I will be plain with you. Mental suffering and trialsupply, in some natures, the place of years, and I will be as plain withyou as if I were a Lady Abbess. No. The suggestion is not appropriateto our Dora. Our dearest Dora is a favourite child of nature. She is athing of light, and airiness, and joy. I am free to confess that if itcould be done, it might be well, but--' And Miss Mills shook her head.

I was encouraged by this closing admission on the part of Miss Mills toask her, whether, for Dora's sake, if she had any opportunity of luringher attention to such preparations for an earnest life, she would availherself of it? Miss Mills replied in the affirmative so readily, that Ifurther asked her if she would take charge of the Cookery Book; and, ifshe ever could insinuate it upon Dora's acceptance, without frighteningher, undertake to do me that crowning service. Miss Mills accepted thistrust, too; but was not sanguine.

And Dora returned, looking such a lovely little creature, that I reallydoubted whether she ought to be troubled with anything so ordinary. Andshe loved me so much, and was so captivating (particularly when she madeJip stand on his hind legs for toast, and when she pretended to holdthat nose of his against the hot teapot for punishment because hewouldn't), that I felt like a sort of Monster who had got into a Fairy'sbower, when I thought of having frightened her, and made her cry.

After tea we had the guitar; and Dora sang those same dear old Frenchsongs about the impossibility of ever on any account leaving offdancing, La ra la, La ra la, until I felt a much greater Monster thanbefore.

We had only one check to our pleasure, and that happened a little whilebefore I took my leave, when, Miss Mills chancing to make some allusionto tomorrow morning, I unluckily let out that, being obliged to exertmyself now, I got up at five o'clock. Whether Dora had any idea thatI was a Private Watchman, I am unable to say; but it made a greatimpression on her, and she neither played nor sang any more.

It was still on her mind when I bade her adieu; and she said to me, inher pretty coaxing way--as if I were a doll, I used to think:

'Now don't get up at five o'clock, you naughty boy. It's sononsensical!'

'My love,' said I, 'I have work to do.'

'But don't do it!' returned Dora. 'Why should you?'

It was impossible to say to that sweet little surprised face, otherwisethan lightly and playfully, that we must work to live.

'Oh! How ridiculous!' cried Dora.

'How shall we live without, Dora?' said I.

'How? Any how!' said Dora.

She seemed to think she had quite settled the question, and gave me sucha triumphant little kiss, direct from her innocent heart, that I wouldhardly have put her out of conceit with her answer, for a fortune.

Well! I loved her, and I went on loving her, most absorbingly, entirely,and completely. But going on, too, working pretty hard, and busilykeeping red-hot all the irons I now had in the fire, I would sitsometimes of a night, opposite my aunt, thinking how I had frightenedDora that time, and how I could best make my way with a guitar-casethrough the forest of difficulty, until I used to fancy that my head wasturning quite grey.