（一）

我真想一夜致博，问了好几家书店都没有吴霭仪说的那本妙书：How To Become Ridiculously Well Read in One Evening。问她，她说不必买了，她找出来给我。今天果然送来了。薄薄一本企鹅，一九八五年初版，编者E O Parrott一九九零年六十六岁就去世了。视力衰退，辞去教职，专心写作，编撰过好几本很俏皮的妙书：How to Become Absurdly Well Informed About The Famous And The Infamous；How to be Tremendously Tuned In to Opera；How to be Well Versed in Poetry。他的《前言》一上来就说博览群书，梦寐以求（“To be well-read is surely highly desirable”），而生也有涯，书也无穷，总不能放弃电视节目放弃酒馆啤酒去死啃名着。他说想当年散文家蓝姆早就想出简化名着的绝招，编写《莎士比亚故事集》（Tales from Shakespeare），后人於是纷纷续貂，有的狗尾，有的貂尾，弄到后来，明明是正襟危坐的作品，都作兴羼入非非之想了（“It is now the fashion to seek for sexual meanings and pornographic undertones even in passages where almost certainly the author intended nothing of the kind”）。

（二）

这本一夜致博的指南倒是黄黑红白依样画葫芦，不太加油添酱。吴霭仪引过劳伦斯《查泰莱夫人的情人》给缩成两行诗：

Smart girls make passes

At the working classes.

千真万确是时髦女郎勾引劳力汉。Vladimir Nabokov的Lolita更是娇滴滴春情早发，色迷迷雨打梨花，浪荡荡一“榻”胡涂：

Pert， pubescent child，

Is defiled by perve with nerve，

Till Quilty gets wild...

Dylan Thomas 的 Under Milk Wood说的是寂寂小城，无风作浪；说三道四，蜚短流长；从早到晚，上床始忘；所为何事？一片空茫！

O little town of Llareggub，

How still we see thee lie，

Then gradually the place wakes up

And， as the day goes by，

We hear the locals gossiping，

they prattle till nightfall，

Then off they go to bed again.

What s happened？ ﹣ Bugger all.

英国人社交聊天靠肚子里的杂料撑场面，这种书内容浅浅寓意深深，最能助人稳操胜券。全书共有三十一位作者执笔，各显奇才，也如比赛。事实上，这些作家的确喜欢比赛；编者自己是“entries in various literary competitions”；作者有的“has been a literary competition winner for many years”；有的“was joint winner of the 1973 Daily Mail competition”；有的“Has been a regular literary competition winner since 1950s”。有的似乎是上了瘾：“An inveterate weekend literary competitor”；有的一九四零年就参赛到现在。书后的作者简介也有趣，有的说讨厌旅行，讨厌谈论自己作品的作家；有的说有四名孙子和八枚还相当管用的牙齿（“four grand children and eight fairly sound teeth”）！